My Father

My father was diagnosed with EC about a month ago. He was having a lot of pain in his right hip and throwing up when he ate. He had also lost 20 lbs. After all of the test they determined he has Adenocarcinoma and it has spread to his bones in his hip area. The socket of his hip has deteriated due to the cancer.

 Currently the doctors are only treating him with chemo and radiation. The doctors are not very good at explaining things to my parents so I'm having to translate things for them. I am curious what may be in store for my father next. The doctor gave him about a 30% chance that this line of treatment would help but never mention any alternatives to treatment.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, Sharon.  It is really tough to look at the loss of a parent.  My mom is my best freind and she has EC as well. My first instinct when she was diagnosed was to grill the doctors about "what is going to happen next?" but I found that the most professional doctors caring for her wouldn't even talk about predicting her future.  They don't know what is going to happen, each individual is so unique that it is impossible to accurately predict outcomes or even how each patient might respond to each drug.  All they would say is "we are going to prescribe this drug, that is created to do ....."  The nurse called frequently to ask about side effects but didn't say "this will probably make you sick, or this will make your hair fall out, or this should work".  They made no predictions about anything.  She has one of the best thoracic oncologists in the region and he frequently says..."I just don't know what will happen for you."  At first it was scary but it has turned out to be a wonderful thing...even though her stage IV cancer didn't look good and she was a very 'fragile' person (just over 100 lbs to start with and almost 70) she has improved HUGELY since she started chemo.  She hasn't been sick, hasn't lost her hair, has GAINED 15 lbs back and the tumor and cancerous lesions are all 'substantially' smaller.  Because her doctor didn't tell her what her path would be, she chose to believe she would get better, and she has. I'm not saying to be in the dark about drugs and what they are supposed to do, but if your dad's doctor says "he has 3 months" I'd suggest you get a different doctor that doesn't think he knows the future.

"I would rather live my life like everything is going to work out GREAT and be wrong than live it like everything is going to fall apart and be right."

 

I understand that the doctor cannot tell us to give up, but wish he would explain things better to my parents. He is very cold to the family and explains everything using medical terms that I end up looking up on the internet and expaining it back to my parents. My sister asked him if they would consider putting in a stent so he would be able to eat better, and he just said "no" without any explanation and left the room. I think he has seperated himself too much as to not feel anything. This is devastating and we need to feel as if we are doing evrything we can for my dad, but the doctor is not making us feel as if there is any alternatives. I signed up for this in order to find out more and reading what others have been going though has been a great help. I appreciate the responces and I wish everyone the best of luck.

Hi Sharon, Perhaps if you are not happy with the doctor, a 2nd opinion would be a good idea (it's actually always a good idea, although we never felt the need to get one). If you mention what area you live in, maybe someone would have a suggestion for an oncologist who is more compassionate in the area. Suya

My father lives in Fairmont, WV. He has already had an consultation at the Cancer Treatment Center in Morgantown, WV but he is in a lot of pain and the 30+ minute drive is too painful for him.