husband failing fast

my husband was diagnosed with liver cancer in july matastis to bone. he was statisically given 6 mths. he has had the fluid taken from his belly  every 2 wks for a month now 7500cc=71/2 qts.  last time he never really felt better. yesterday we went again hard trip 1 hr in car sick hardly able to walk.  after really seeing how yellow he had become it show up more in flouresent lighting i lost it. after tap doc told us probably less then a month. his mental status is altered  do to his liver failure his amonia levels are high his sodium and potasium are messed up. his pain is under control he sleeps alot.  his family is in denial but they need to come visit they live next door out of sight out of mind.  i had to quite work he needs 24 hr care.  does anyone know of any sight to help family caregivers with finacial problems . any help appreciated. i am so glad to find this sight it has helped me tremendusly thanks peg

 

On 9/12/2008 peg246 wrote:

my husband was diagnosed with liver cancer in july matastis to bone. he was statisically given 6 mths. he has had the fluid taken from his belly  every 2 wks for a month now 7500cc=71/2 qts.  last time he never really felt better. yesterday we went again hard trip 1 hr in car sick hardly able to walk.  after really seeing how yellow he had become it show up more in flouresent lighting i lost it. after tap doc told us probably less then a month. his mental status is altered  do to his liver failure his amonia levels are high his sodium and potasium are messed up. his pain is under control he sleeps alot.  his family is in denial but they need to come visit they live next door out of sight out of mind.  i had to quite work he needs 24 hr care.  does anyone know of any sight to help family caregivers with finacial problems . any help appreciated. i am so glad to find this sight it has helped me tremendusly thanks peg

 

Peg, I'm so sorry to read your distressing message. You're in a terrible situation - I'm so sorry.

My only thought in relation to your husband's family is this - if they are persisting in being in denial, I wonder whether your husband's doctor could write a letter, setting out his condition and prognosis. Maybe if they don't believe you, they would believe his doctor?

I hope you get through this terrible time as best as can be done, and that you get the practical help you need, as well the emotional support to see you through.

With kind thoughts, Julie.

thank you so much for your concern.  they cannot handle illness but i do not want to hear about it afterwards if i make decisions they do not agree on  i only hope they come visit soon. 

Do not feelyou need to justify anything you decide.  You are taking all the responsibilty.  My dad fought a good battle and I had to make all the decisions because my mom and family were all frightened.  I spoke to my Dad and asked him what he wanted.  He became so tired and slept most of the time once his liver began to fail.  He wantde to stop all the laxatives and tests because it hurt his pride to be gointp the bathroom in a diaper.  The doctors explained and argued with me that if I stopped the laxatives and other medicine his pottasium level would cause heart failure.  It was the hardest decision to make but I needed to do what was right for my Dad, no matter how much it hurt to lose him.  He said to me that DOGS HAVE IT BETTER BECAUSE WHEN THEY CAN"T LIVE A GOOD LIFE THEY ARE PUT TO SLEEP".   Do what you think it is right for your husband and never doubt yourself.  You are the one sitting with him

My dad died peacefully and I hurt badly but I know he is not in pain and I did what he wanted.  God bless you.