My Mom

My Mom has gallbladder cancer. It has spread to her liver, it is over 90% of her liver, she has serveral spots in her lungs, lymphnodes, a vertebrea in her neck, a spot on her back and a spot in her stomach. She was having problems with her stomach and we felt that it may be her gallbladder, I had my gallbladder removed 4 yrs ago, and she had the same symptoms. She went to the doctor and the doctor sent her down for a ultrasound of her gallbladder, they found stones, but they also found the cancer not only in the gallbladder but a large mass in the liver. She was then transferred to a hospital in Kentucky. She then under went serveral pet scans, MRI's, and a liver biopsi. The first liver biopsi didn't work, all they got was dead tissue, so they had to go in again, when they went in the second time, the surgeon came out to speek with us and gave us the news know family wants to ever hear, the cancer was was over to large of a % of her liver and the gallbladder could not be removed and there is nothing more that could be done!!!!! That was the day they told us my mom had 4 to 6 months to live. My mom went home a week later, she has been taking radiation on the spot in her neck, hoping to keep it from spreading to the brain. and she has been doing kemo once aweek. Last week she went in the hospital she has phnemonia. While at the hospital this time they found a new spot on her ribcage, it is now in the bone. She got to come home yesterday. My mom is the backbone of our family, she is the best mom in the world, she has always put others before herself. She has worked in the nursing home field for over 15 yrs. when she was in the hospital the first time she was so concerned about missing work and the people she cares for not being cared for properly!!! Thats my mom!!!!!! I have 5 children and one on the way, and My fiancee' has 4 kids!!! We are planning our wedding for November 29th, 2008 so my mom can be their because it is very important to her, since she got the phnemonia the doctors say that she shouldn't be around alot of people so she will not be able to attend my wedding. It breaks my heart, but for her health I understand. My fiancee' asked my mother to name our child who has not been born yet, she was so honored to do so!!!! My mom has been my best friend my whole life, I can't imagine my world without her!!!! My children love her so much and how will i explain to them what is happening!!! My oldest son in 11 and he knows grandma is very sick, but the others are to young, 5 yrs, 4 yrs, 2 yrs, and 8 months. My dad and mom have been married 45 yrs, I can only imagine what he is going through, I had never seen my dad cry, until the day they told us there was nothing they could do, now i see him cry all the time!!!! I ask why?? My mom never smoked or drank a day in her life, she is a very kind, caring, and giving person!!! Why Her!!! I would appreciate any and all support and prayers that are available. Thank you for listening, it actually feels better to get it out and talk about it!!! 

You and your family are in my  prayers... I sure know what you are going thru, My mom was also my best friend, and the back bone of our family too.  I had my first daughter March 27, 2007 and week later my mom went into the ER for having pain in groin area of her leg to find out she has cancer.  She had Liver, Lung, and spread thru her bones.  It was terrible.. It worst thing to see someone go thru, but we didn't want to know how long she had to live. She made it 9 wonderful months she passed away January 29, 2008, the worst day of my life, we had her at home wiht my dad, he wanted her at home so he took care of her most of the time. We my, brother and sister, dad, and gram was all there with her the night she passed away. it was the most hardest thing to watch, I keep remember that night over and over..in my sleep or if i am alone and start thinking, i picture her face that evening. So I really know what you are going thru and what u mean about your mom being the back bone of the family my mom was the same way...... I am so sorry... My mom was only 57 yrs old. Everyone says it get easier...... its almost a year and hasn't got any easier yet..... My sister in law did go into labor 3 wks early it was a week after my mom passed away........so we say that my mom is part of Macee Nicole......If you need anyone to talk to I am here, again i am praying for your family.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, and I am deeply sorry for your loss. I will also keep you and your family in my prayers. You may contact me through my e-mail if you would like, at --Message edited by CancerCompass staff. For personal protection, email address removed. Consider private reply. Please review CancerCompass Member Guidelines at http://www.cancercompass.com/common/guidelines.html--. I can us all the support I can get and maybe I can lend an ear when you need it. If theres anything I can do just let me know.

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I was dealing with the same feelings few months back. My mom, my true friend was diagnosed in Jan. 08 with Bile Duct. She spent wonderful moments with us till Aug. 23 rd.

It came as a shock-her diagnosis, because at 70 she had more stamina than people her age.Now I am trying to come to terms with this reality. I have to accept it, there is no other way.

All I can say is, you have to be STRONG. This is life, its temporary. We all will leave this world one day...this is the true fact of life. Face it, come to terms with it. There are people who die in accidents all of a sudden.

Atleast, with this disease God gives us an opportunity to prepare ourselves.He gives us a chance to pray for our loved ones- and believe me there are Miracles in some form or the other.He gives us a chance to take as many pictures and memories as we want. To say all that we want to, to hear all that our loved one has to say. A chance to keep them happy, to fulfill their wishes.

God gave me this chance and I will always be thanking Him for that.It is because of our prayers that my mom did not suffer. She went so peacefully in a way that many healthy people don't get to go.This gives me peace.

 Each of us has to go one day, so make yourself strong for the life ahead. You do not know what lies ahead. Pray and find the peace in it. Keep your mom happy, you never know God might show his miracle to you and your family. Pray that she stays comfortable and does not suffer.

My best wishes for you and your family. 

My prayers are with you and your family. I lost my mother Feb 11 2008 and it has been the hardest thing I have ever been trough, My mother was everything for our Family. We found out she had GBC stage 4 back in March 07. I also have a 12yr old boy a 5yr old girl and a 1yr old girl. It has been the hardest thing to see my kids grow up with out there Grandmother. The best thing you can do is just spend as much time with her. Smile as much as you. don't let her see your pain. It will only make it harderd for her to let go. As hard as it can be, it is the best thing you can to for her. Just sit with her, even if she is sleeping just sit quietly by her. Make sure someone is with her 24/7, Is your mother in hospice? My mother was in hospice care in the very end I say about 2 weeks. She became very ill towards the end, she slipped into a coma 2 days before she passed. It has been very tough for my dad, they where married 35yrs. But my Brothers and I try and spend as much time with him. Hang in there..... if you wish to ask me any questions about anything feel free to do so.

I am so sad to hear about your mom.  My mom, Judie, was diagnosed in March of 2008.  She was 68 years old.  She was so beautiful, smart and just wonderful.  She tried so hard to stay strong through the radiation treatments, but her body was so weak.  Her greatest joy was seeing her grand daughter graduate from highschool.  Mom died on Aug 10.  Every day with out her has been a struggle for all of us.  Her birthday was in Sept and my parents 50th was in Oct.  I agree with the above writer- that every day with her was a gift.  I was able to tell her how much I love her and I was able to hold her like I used to when I was a child.  I still feel her with me every day.  In the beginning I dreamt of her every single night- some good dreams- some bad.  They are less frequent now, but now it is all becoming more real.  It is so painful, and so hard to believe that she is gone.  My only comfort besides my wonderful family is my faith that there is life after death and I will see my beautiful mother once again.  It is unfair but then I think of the pain every one else goes through in life-such horrible loss, pain and suffering everywhere.  If life runs its course- parents are supposed to die before their children- no parent would want the opposite to happen.  Please cherish your mother today, tomorrow and forever.  My mother made me who I am today and I am so grateful to her for that.