New But Late Diagnosis--Need Feedback

My mother was just this past Tuesday officially diagnosed with stage IV cancer (primary undetermined, with mets to the liver, which is apparently ravaged). That evening when we got home, she vomited and developed diarrhea. The next day she was sent to get iv fluids for her dehydration. Friday she was admitted to the hospital for dehydration, diarrhea, and extreme weakness. The progression of her condition has been dramatic; a week ago she could at least move around and get herself to the bathroom, neither of which she can do on her own now. It's all she can do to sit up, has no interest in food or drink, and sleeps almost constantly.
We had her scheduled to start chemo next week, but I'm worried she may not be strong enough for it. We now need to decide between starting chemo or bringing in hospice. We're all just overwhelmed with how quickly this has all happened. I know that doctors can't pinpoint the moment death will occur, but it seems that whenever I ask a question about where we might be in her cancer's progression, I get cryptic answers: "she's a very sick lady," or "this cancer progresses very quickly." Does anyone recognize the symptoms as being months away or weeks away from the final days? Has anyone had a similar situation? Any feedback or advice would be welcome.
Thanks,
D

Dorothy,

I am so sorry to hear about your Mother--I know what a sad and painful time this is for you and your family.

I lost a very dear friend to liver cancer a few weeks ago. I was one of his primary caregivers. He was diagnosed five months ago with PLC. His condition was terminal and no treatment was offered. Despite this, he seemed to be doing so well. At times, it was difficult to believe he even had cancer. I don't think he believed it either.

But as the doctor said, once it begins progressing, it happens swiftly and and a frightening and alarming pace. The symptoms you described for your Mother happened to my friend. He went from being totally independent to bedridden, and very, very sick, in a lot of pain--all within a few days. He went to the hospital the final week, slept almost all the time, stopped eating and drinking and slipped into a coma the last two days before he died.

Your Mother most likley only has a matter of weeks or days left based on what you said about the condition of her liver. It sounds like liver failure and life cannot be sustained without the liver.

Spend as much time as you can with her and celebrate these final days of her life. Let her know that you are there--ensure she's free of pain--say everything now that you want her to know because any day she might slip away.

God Bless you and your family. This is such a hard journey that no one should have to go through. Thank God your Mother has you and your family to be with her during this time.

I will say a prayer for you and your family.