Hi,
I am a new member and I wish to offer some comfort to those who have lost a dear one to cancer.
You see, I know how painful it is to plod on and on after my wife suffered a massive hemmorhage on December 19, 2007, due to her brain tumor which was diagnosed on October 23, 2007. Please go to www.khookhenghor.com if you want to read more.
I asked you to read more in my website because I want to fast-forward as I want those who had lost a dear one to cancer to know that we may have lost him or her to cancer BUT we haven't really lost them at all. They are all safe and joyful with God. I am very convinced because of a very personal experience I had been blessed with.
Ever since my wife's demise, I had kept going by trusting God and reading the Bible as I tried to find comfort in His words. In keeping faith, I had also penned an article where I counted my blessings, e.g. in taking Judy home, God had spared her from her suffering as well as spared me from the agony of watching her suffer (there were many times when on the pretense of going out to buy fruits for her, I sat inside my car to cry my heart out because in her presence, I had to put on a brave front as I was her cheerleader and motivator), and He chose me to be the one left behind, which was my prayer as I thought myself to be the stronger one since the one left behind suffers the most.
Despite my strong faith, there were times when I too had doubts. On January 20, 2008, I was on my knees asking God for just a sign to show that Judy was truly safe and joyful in heaven. I begged with tears streaming down my face, "Lord Jesus, please give me a sign at least to know what you had told us is true, and that you haven't been pulling the wool over our eyes into believing a fairy tale about eternal life in heaven."
There was no thunder, no lightning, and not even a bird flew overhead as I prostrated there on my lawn. No sign at all. Like God wasn't even listening. I was so depressed from my disappointment that I went to sleep.
On January 21 morning at 5:15 a.m., I awoke from a dream - Judy came home looking so beautiful as she smiled so sweetly at me albeit without saying a word and I was so overjoyed that I cried happy tears which woke me up. My first question was, "Is this dream the sign I asked for?" and being an intelligent man, my answer was, "NO, it was just my subconscious self from thinking too much of her."
Unable to sleep, I turned to the Bible and that was when God "spoke" to me via Isaiah 57:1-2, i.e. "The good men perish; the godly die before their time and no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to realize that God is taking them away from evil days ahead. For the godly who die shall rest in peace."
At breakfast, when I told my sister who is a hospice nurse, she, a non-Christian, immediately told me, "God has indeed spoken to you" and she went on to describe the ravages of cancer which Judy would have to endure had she lived on.
But the story didn't end there.
At 1.59 p.m., I was checking my emails when I saw one posted by a man who had attended my seminar in Singapore a week earlier. When I opened his email, I read the startling opening words, "The good men perish; the godly die before their time and no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to realize that God is taking them away..."
Can you believe it? Would you call this a coincidence? Hey, of all the quotations in the thick Bible, this man started off his email with a passage from Isaiah 57:1-2 which I had read several hours earlier.
I immediately ran to the lawn and knelt down to offer my grateful thanks to my one and only God, saying over and over, "Thank you, Lord Jesus."
Since that day, I have been comforted from knowing that my wife is safe and joyful with God. Of course, that doesn't mean I haven't felt sad from time to time from missing her and yearning for her. After all, we were married 26 years 1 month and 18 days. How could I not miss her?
But I am glad for her that she is no longer suffering this dark, sinful, hurtful world. I weep not for her. I weep mostly for myself because I still have to plod on feeling the weariness and at times, pain and sickness, as well as other worldly burden and disappointments.
I hope then that those of you whose dear ones had been called home to God to realize that indeed a better world is there for them and it is this same better world we are heading for when it is our turn to go. Join the queue, folks, and patiently await your turn.
God bless all of you with this hope and the strength to endure our suffering as we plod on and on.
Khoo Kheng-Hor.