feeling guilty = missing love from spouse

i googled and was reading this board and a woman said how she felt selfish and guilty because she missed the husband-wife relationship and now i lost it when i registered.  it was from january this year.  my husband has gone downhill drastically - lost 60 pounds in 6 months.  we got married when we found out he has primary myelofibrosis - very rare - didn't know what i was getting into and he is the love of my life but so many emotions on my part need someone to relate to....he's on a clinical trial at mayo in minnesota (we're in florida) so it should be good but it's not what they presented it to be - i miss my new husband.  any words of encouragement?