Can Anyone Help Me, A Kind Word?

Hi, my mom was recently diagnosed (Nov. 27/08) with Esophageal Cancer that has spread to her stomach, lymph nodes and liver (stage 4).  The doctors advised that it was inoperable and untreatable. They told my mom to gain weight to undergo the chemo or radiation, but that is just not possible. She is losing weight faster than she can gain it and started to vomit the other day (Dec. 27). We go to the Cancer society on the 5th of Jan/08.  It's really, REALLY, hard to accept, she used to be so vibrant and now she is so sick. I am scared the Cancer Clinic will just say a few words and send us on our way. The truth is...that's exactly what is going to happen.  She is too weak for treatments. But at least we can get her pallative care and keep her comfortable. My heart aches/breaks for my mom.  I can't help but fast forward to all the things that might happen...so I won't. I will live day by day.  My dad commited suicide when I was 21 so to think I will have no one to catch me when I fall, really saddens me. But it's not about me.....

Can someone please send me a kind word...

Thank you for the ear and god bless  

 

 

Hi there.  My husband was diagonsed with stage 4 throat cancer in March and is just 6 months post-treatment.  We came very close to it being too far to treat.  I don't know how helpful this will be, but know that you are not alone.  It's ok to feel bad, it is about you.  You have to take care of yourself and be strong.  Get another opinion, research your options, read posts about this type of cancer.  This is a great place for information and support. 

I lost a very dear friend in February after a 11 year battle with breast cancer.  She died before Dave was diagnosed, but I remember her telling me that if she could just help one person deal with what she's had to endure, then it would all have been worth it.  I think of her every day, and I know it's because of her that I was able to get our family through this difficult year. 

Enjoy the time that you have with your mother.  Try to do some 'normal' things with her - by 'normal' I mean things you used to do together before she got sick.  Right now she probably feels like her life is over, that she's a burden to her family and friends.  Try to give her even 5-10 minutes a day of something entirely different than cancer.

Best of luck to you, you're going to be ok.

I am praying for strength, courage and hope for you and your Mom.  I am glad you found this site. I found it just now as my Dad is diagnosed with esophegos cancer (day before Christmas Eve). We are still waiting to see the staging of it. 

My heart goes out to you and your Mom. Know that there is ONE who is in control, who has a plan and a purpose for you and your Mom. He will always catch you if you fall. 

 I do hope that the Cancer Center has more answers and can keep her more comfortable.  God Bless you.

Don't write your mom off yet!  My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 back in April.  She has weighed about 115 her whole life and was down about 10 lbs when she was diagnosed.  First thing they did was install a feeding tube.  It really isn't a big deal, she hooks it up at night now and has it off during the day.  She weighs about 118 now. They started chemotherapy next and the tumor in her liver have reduced dramatically, as has the size of the tumor in the esophagus.  The chemo is tough sometimes, but she just left for their wintering house in Texas...it's in a park down there with other Srs.  so she plays piano for various programs, teaches a computer class and goes to crochet club and bingo.  She takes a few more naps during the day but she still enjoys life thoroughly.  Maybe she'll make a full recovery someday...maybe not.  In the meantime, life is worth living and she won't give up until it is really her time to go. If your doctors don't come up with a plan to keep your mom here (assuming she wants treatment) you just go find a different doctor. I've had 9 more great months with my mom (and best friend) even after I was sure I wouldn't have another 2 weeks with her. Don't give up.

Thank you so very much for your kind words. Luckily, we were able to get mom to the Cancer Clinic today. AND I just found out that I was pregnant. God sure has a sense of humour. My husband and I feel VERY blessed. Funny how things happen.

You are right-I will not give up. She's a tough cookie! 

Thank you for the replies, I sincerely appreciate it.

God Bless.... 

 

 

 

Congratulations to you and your husband.  That is wonderful news. 

I understand.... My Dad is my best friend. He has been there for me through everything in my life.  I feel like I am the most blessed daughter in the entire world.  My Dad was diagnosed with EC in August 2007.  I did not take it well at all.  I basically fell apart.  He was initially diagnosed as stage 1 and my Dad underwent the I-L surgery.  During post op, when he was in SICU he was found to have a brain tumor which was said to have spread from the EC.  He basically gave up.  With lots of help from some wonderful Dr's and technology and my kids giving him a reason to get up, my Dad is here with us today and doing most of the things he did before surgery. 

 I thank God every day for every day I have with him.  Try to remember that she is here with you now.  Be strong.

 Robbin 

Thank you JB and the other kind respondants.

My sweet momma passed away on February 7/09. For the last week of her life she was in a hospice here in Langley (BC, Canada). Her last week was full of pain and not much communication.

There came a time that we had to say goodbye and tell her it was ok for her to go. Though I miss her more than words can express and my heart breaks continuously, she is now free of pain. 

I am back to work and going thru the motions, I an numb right now. I start  greivance counselling tomorrow. I want to make to sure grieve properly as I do not want to be unemotionally absent for my sweet baby.  

Mom had requested no funeral service but my sister and I are going to have a Celebration of Life for her on the 15th of March, so we can have some closure.

Thank you for your kind words.

All the best......