On 12/31/2008
laney2398 wrote:
I am so scared right now. I just got the
results of my yearly exam and they are bad,well they sound bad. I am so
scared on what happens next and all these thoughts of dying keep coming
into my head.
The results said I was positive for HPV which considering I have not
done anything in a loooooong while, it may have been in my system for
years. The test came back saying high grade squamous intraepithelial
lesion,severe dysplasia/carcinoma in-situ
Now, I am in nursing school I know what a lot of these terms mean
and I guess that is why I am so scared about it.
Has anyone had this and have the testing done and everything be ok?
:(
Hi Laney,
Having been a nurse myself for many years, and having been diagnosed with cancer 3 times, I can understand how knowledge can seem to be a frightening thing.
My best suggestion is to step back, take some big, slow, deep breaths, and refocus.
Turn your knowledge around from being disadvantage to becoming advantage. Specifically, from your message, I'm assuming you had a PAP, and that is where they found the high grade dysplasia/carcinoma in-situ. While this does indeed sound very scary, and realistically could be a serious problem, right now there are some very GOOD things about this test result.
First of all, yes, this is more serious than if the test had just said dysplasia. BUT, the fact that they have preliminarily (without cervical biopsy) rated it as carcinoma in-situ (known as CIS) IS a good thing, primarily because it means even though you don't yet know whether this is just pre-cancerous or actual carcinoma, you DO know that it is local, not yet having invaded any other tissues. That means treatment most likely will be fairly straight forward, and with excellent possibility of being very successful.
So, you know that you will most likely have to have a biopsy, to give the doc a chance to get a better look at how involved the lesion is, and to get a concrete diagnosis on just what it is and whether there is likely any further involvement than just a lesion on your cervix. Knowing you are going to need a biopsy gives you time to get more educated about, and better psychologically prepared. (when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I had my mammogram, an ultrasound, and then ultra-sound guided biopsy, all within the space of about 1 hour. I went to the breast care center by myself knowing I had a large lump and just expecting a mammogram, and I left driving myself home while recovering from a very traumatic core-punch biopsy under local, pretty much sure that I had cancer because the dr said flat out that it looked very suspiciously like cancer and that he had very little doubt the pathology report would be anything different. No one wants to have to have a biopsy, and to hear they have cancer, but this sure was NOT a wonderful way to go about it.)
Read about cervical biopsy - get yourself educated. make a list of questions for your dr, and make sure you get the answers. Write them down, so you won't forget later what you need to know.
Same thing with treatments. Rather than letting your student knowledge of the language scare you, become an expert - this is your body - you can best serve yourself by becoming educated so that you really will understand what the drs say (and PLEASE, if you do NOT understand what they say - ask questions right then and there, and do not be satisfied until you understand. You have the right to be informed to your own satisfaction, and right now you can can be your own best patient advocate.)
Put thoughts of dying out of your head. Again, right now what you know is that this has been preliminarily diagnosed as CIS - which means local involvement - which IS treatable and with excellent chance of avoiding further complications, if taken care of now. HSIL (high grade squamous intraepithelial lesions) can indeed become cancerous, but when caught early - CIS - they have a VERY low incidence of infiltrating other tissues - and this is greatly to your advantage.
This is a pretty good article on the diagnosis. It's meant for lay people, so the language isn't too technical. I'm hoping that you will be able to read it dispassionately, so you can get yourself centered, best absorb what it's saying, and use it as a springboard to guide your search in learning more about the diagnosis, treatment, etc.
http://www.uptodate.com/patients/content/topic.do?topicKey=~
I'm not saying that treatment, should you need it, is easy, but it IS doable, and getting a sound foundation in knowledge will stand you in good stead.
Just remember, you've been diligent to take care of yourself, getting a yearly PAP (and possibly doing other things aimed at health maintenance) - that will also stand you in good stead. It sounds like you may have caught this very early - and other than preventing it altogether (which I don't know of anyone who know how to do) - catching this before it actually becomes cancer, or very early if it has become cancer, gives you the absolute best chance of having it treated, taken care of, and having no further problems. I would keep my focus there, unless you have proof otherwise.
The other thing - you're in nursing school. You are surrounded (hopefully) by professionals who can give you support and encouragement. Use your instructors' experience to the max! May not be quite what you were expecting when you started school, but hey, take every advantage you can get!!!
I wish you the very best. Please let us know what you find out. If it turns out to be pre-cancer, easily treated, we will do the happy dance with you!! If it turns out to be more serious, we can be here to continue to offer support and encouragement, and a place where you can talk.
Sincerely,
Tre