Hi everyone,
As I told said from the beginning I have Stage 4 breast cancer, was told I have 2-3 years to live with Chemotherapy and months to live without Chemotherapy. I do not know what my feelings are, I do not beleive that their is any hope for me. I do not know why I am feeling this way. I do not believe that I have cancer. Everyone tells me that their is Hope, I do not feel sick, Maybe it is because it has not dawned on me that I do have cancer. I really have not cryed, or put much into this. I wish I knew why I feel this way. When my husband starts to talk about this cancer, I want to just go away and not put him or my daughter (13 yrs old) through all this.Part of me feels that the doctors made all this up just to get my insurance money and take the money I do not have to pay for all of this treatment.
On 12/30/08 I had my first chemotherapy with Doxil, the nurse gave me what the doctor ordered; Dicadron 20 mg, Doxil 77mg, then I had a severe reaction, my tongue swelled, my neck,face,ears turned red, it felt like my face was on fire! Severe pain down my spine,into my neck,arms, fingers and hands,toes,feet,all this only took 7 minutes to affect my body. Then she stop the Doxil for 30 mins.then she gave me 10 mg more of dicadron and 50 mg of Benadryl.It took 3 hours for my body to go through Hell, I have decided to not to have anymore chemo. I have been so sick from the chemotherapy that I do not want to go through it again. I missed the New Years with my husband and daughter. So I am going to try alternative therapy. My husband and I have done extensive research on a herb called Paw Paw and other herbs.
Has anyone else felt like I do, I know that I will wake up and I was just having a bad dream. Thanks for listing, it is very hard to understand why I feel like I do.
Debbie Golightly