i Need Support and Advice...

My husband got colon cancer about 6 months ago. After his operation he was perscribed 24 bouts of chemo. He made it through 6. He decided not to continue because it made him seriously ill and he ended up in th hospital in isolation. He also lost his job and I am a freelance artist scrambeling to make ends meet for three.I have a very bright 13 year old entering high school. Things are very scary now and I need any advice on how to make it through. He's very depressed and are savings wont hold out for long.

alisa, My sister is battling a very rare fotm of bladder cancer called urachal cancer and she refuses to throw in the towel, keep in mind that the doctors already told her there is no more that can be done for her. We insist that this is not true. Doctors don't play God. What I am saying to you is through my sister I found the courage and strength to go on and continue this fight and I urge you to do the same thing,there has to be someone you can lean on in this time of need.my sisters faith is what has gotten me this far. You have to remember your 13yr. what good would you be for him if you don't find the support you need and your husband definitely should not give into this desease, the power of the mind and spirit can do wonders and make miracles happen. My prayers are with you and your family, Andrea

Alisa, Know that you and your family are in my prayers. Chemo can be extremely hard on a person because while it is killing the cancer, it also kills blood cells and other things that the body desprately needs. I respect your husbands decision not to continue chemo, but am concerned about his depression (which I'm sure you may share). I am no expert but I do know that a positive attitude is very necessary when anyone is diagnosed with any condition or disease. Do you practice any religion? If so, PLEASE go to your church or group and allow them to be another support system for your family. Maybe it will help give your husband the faith and hope he needs to carry on. Also, you'd be suprised how many will help out with your financial burden, don't be afraid to ask. I completely understand your money troubles: cancer doesn't only devastate the patients health but it affects the emotional and financial stability for the patient AND the family. Remember and remind your husband that material objects are always replaceable and that life is much more valuable than anything that money could ever buy. Trust me, cancer is a true reminder of this: it is very humbling, especially if you did not have much money in the first place (as in my family's case). Since your husband has decided to discontinue chemo: maybe you should start looking into some alternative therapies? There are SO many out there that are natural and may help not only his cancer, but also the recovery from the damage the chemo has done AND his emotional health. Maybe if he can find some natural substances to help his recovery, he may reach a point that he can withstand the chemo and the alternative meds will help fight the side effects. You may also consider getting a second opinon from another Oncologist - it may very well be that a different doctor won't take such an aggressive approach. God Bless

Thanks for taking the time to reply. Every story and every piece of advice helps me knot to feel as alone. We will get thorough this. But we can't dso it on our own. I wish my husband was more a people person. He is very much a loner and does not usually seek out the help or support of others. I think it would make a difference for him if he did. Getting off the chemo has helped his state of mind. I'm just worried about what comes next for him. Again, thanks for the support... its needed and appreciated.

Hi, My Husband was dx in dec 2002. Stage iv colan cancer. HAD Chemo was discharged and found more cells less than 4 months later. Wow we went everywherer and read everything. My husband was numb. HE swore off surgery, until they told him him that he couldn't have any more surgery. Then he wanted it. fINALLY we decided irenotican and avastin. THe irenotican made he sooooo sick. BUt shrunk his tumors. Next 2 round avastin alone. 3months later he had a septic ruptured apendix...nasty. Probably the avastin. He was ready to give up at every turn... Now he is 6 weeks into erbitux. Easier on the sytem. Bad rash, treatable with Elidel. HE has gained weight( lost 55 lbs since his apendix) and looks so much better.He feels he has turned the corner, first in a lonnnnng time. So far so good. Gotta keep pushing. New meds all the time. You also have to take care of your self. THis is a nasty disease. You have to be strong. ITs the hardest on the caregivers. I just keep telling my self that one day this will all be behind us. One day at a time. Good luck, and I find that the best place to cry is in the shower! Kathe K

Whatever you come to terms with for your family, just enjoy every day you have with your loved one. I don't know where you are at in the battle but if it is terminal, the important thing to remember is that every day is priceless. I took a leave of absence from work two months ago, my dad had kidney cancer, he passed away 2 weeks ago. I miss him every day, but I thank the lord for letting me know that I needed to take that time and be with him. It was the best time of my life with him. They change so quickly, it can get bad fast, enjoy the wonderful time you have. Try a hospice social worker for the depression. I loved their support. I remember listening to fun songs on the way back from radiation treatments and tapping our hands and feet to the beat on a sunny summer afternoon, I miss everything about him, but I am thankful for the time, take pictures, video, make special things together. God Bless.