I Have Lost Him Forever

Hi Everyone,

Many of you may be very familiar with my husband Dan and our battle to beat this horrible demon we call stomach cancer. Well, we lost. My husband, Dan passed away on Sunday from stomach cancer. He was DX on 2/8/07 and survived for a short 11 months. His passing was not one I will soon forget. It was as if he was ready to go, but his body was not. It was quite a struggle for him. So not only am I left with that memory, but also a life without him, He was only 38 years old and he was robbed of many more years of happiness and memories. Many people keep telling me that he is no longer in pain and is in a better place, but that still does not make it easier for me. I am glad that he know longer suffers the pain, but I am left without him. I miss him and I do not know how to go on without him. He was always full of excitement and the thrill of living. He taught me more about living life than anyone. He was never afraid to try to do anything. He just loved life. We never had a chance to have a family of our own and share that joy with each other and our families.  I am so angry, sad, and fustrated about this. I don't know if I want to cry or just scream at times. I am just walking around thinking that this is not real and he will come walking thru the door at any given moment. I am so angry right now that I could just scream.....why did this have to happen and why did it have to happen to him at such a young age? It does not make sense to me. I am sorry I sound so angry, but I this is how I feel about this disease and what it has done to my family. Please do not let my pain discourage any hope that still may be out there because there is ... I want to thank all of you for always giving me such great comfort and advise throughtout all of this. I would not have been able to go on without your help and words of encouragement. So this maybe my last post and I hope you all continue to find the hope you need to help your loved ones fight off this horrible disease. So never give up the hope or the fight. I just wish we could have had a better outcome. So to my rock, my husband, my best friend, soul-mate, I will love you always and you will never be forgotten. I will love you always!!!

Best of hope and luck to everyone,

Samantha(Never Give UP!!!!!!)

Dearest Samantha,

My heart is just breaking...... not only for you, but for your experience that I know has just not arrived on my doorstep yet. I hope you can find it in your heart to stay in touch as you progress through the painful process of living without the love of your life. I, for one, need to know from your experiences, that you can live on and have a meaningful life again after being stripped of the partnership of life.

You were such a great trooper, and I am so proud of you for your support of Dan during his time of need. I know you gave it all you had. Now it is YOUR time of need, and please take the time to treat yourself well. My therapist aunt says not to make any major decisions in your life for the next 12 months, probably great advice.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you every day. Holler if you need an ear.

Warm hugs,  Scott.

Samantha:

I am sorry to hear about Dan.  I have appreciated your sharing of information and feelings throughout this horrific experience.  In reading your last post, I am impressed by the statement that Dan taught you how to live life; I am certain that experience was for a reason.  Take your time and get the support you need to make it through this difficult time but remember, that Dan would have wanted you to continue to enjoy and experience the many thrills and agonies that come to us through our living experience.  My thanks to you for your couragous battle and support of him during his most difficult time.  My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

With Affection and Sadness,

Steve aka momwithkids

Dear Samantha,  I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband Dan and I just want to say that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this extremely difficult time.  I wish that you did not have to go through this and hope that you have family, friends that can be there to give you a hug and just listen.  Please reach out to those people and don't shut down.  Remember you are still here with us on this earth and I know that your husband would want you to move on.....God be with you and give you the strength to get through this.....we are here if you need to talk.

God bless,

Lila.

Dear Samantha,

I am so sorry to hear that your Dan has lost his battle.  It's so very hard to go on without them.  Your Dan sounds a lot like my Mike who also lost his battle with stage IV stomach cancer on February 22, 2008.  He was the love of my life.  We were married for 18 years, together for 26 and lived life to the fullest.  We traveled everywhere and did everything - together.

Not to discourage you, but right now you are still numb.  Don't be scared when the pain really sets in.  Samantha, it is so hard without our loved ones.  You have every right to be angry and depressed.  Please think of joining a support group - that has helped me a great deal.  No one knows what we are going through so talking with others in the same situation helps.  Just remember that our loved ones fought so hard to hold on to life - it is precious.  Don't give up even though you may want to.  Dan would not want that as I know my Mike would not want that for me.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  God bless you,

Diane, Mike's wife

Samantha,

I am soooo sorry about your husband, my heart is seriously breaking for you right now. My Mom was just diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer. Very very very scary! I just want you to know that you are in my prayers!