just overwhelmed

I am on this board for the first time but no stranger to Cancer compass. Well first i am a very -happy-go-lucky type i am fifty years old and i feel like twenty. !6 months ago i was informed that my closest brother had Multiple Myeloma And for those of you that may not know ,this is a cancer of the plasma cell did anyone think this could be a cancer?? well it is and a nasty one. He is now in remission and the last year has been hell having to support him and the chemo and worry of what his family will do without him.(He is 51) the doctors said he may live for another year or so.

My mother-in -law who lives in seattle came down with Septic shock and acute respiratory distress syndrome and has been in the hospital for 3 months she gets a little better then sinks she has been awake for 3 days in that time. I travel from connecticut to seattle to join with my wife and visit the extended family. Her prognosis is bleak at best. we pray.

My mother was informed she has NSCLC in october of 08 and underwent double lung cancer surgery and recovery was very difficult for her. Her last MRI showed the cancer has returned and much more aggressive than before the tumor is larger in  3 months than it was when the doctors did surgery. We were very disappointed and saddened bu the latest news.she lives with me now and i do what i can for her.

Life has become so filled with worry,sadness,uncertainty,and so many emotions that i find it difficult to even be a father to our two daughters.Their mother has been in seattle for a very long time and she calls with the news regarding her mom . I am in connecticut taking care of my very depressed mother and we talk of how to cope with our dying mothers. to make matters worse i take care of my 91 year old grandmother as well !! (who is right now in better shape than all of us!!)I  I want to run but i cant hide I am now close to collapse I just find it difficult to continue. I am sorry to ramble but i just do not know which way to turn. I was a real estate developer i was very successful  so i retired to enyoy the rest of my life with my family but all i am now is just tired. What can i do? I am the only person that my family comes to in times of need but i need somewhere to go !! any help?  

first let me say how very sorry I am for you to have to be dealing with so much right now.  I am a cancer patient and not a caregiver, but I know that my husband gets very frustrated and overwhelmed at times too.  I think some of the things that will make your life less stressed is to remember to take care of yourself.  There are many things you can do:  make sure to eat good foods, try some new places for take out, go to a movie by yourself or rent funny DVDs (laughter helps), go to a local library and read, take yourself for a walk, meditate (even if it's just 10-15 minutes out of the day).  Don't pretend that you have to be "up" all the time.  Allow yourself a grumpy moment every now and again, but don't dwell in it.  There is no point to that.  You can look at the flip side and remember that life is short - make the best of it!

Good luck!  amb