scared and sad

My father (50 years old) just had surgery to remove his esophagus and part of his stomach, following a diagnosis of ES cancer. The surgeon came out and told us that my father's stomach was so damaged by diabetes and the cancer that he would be on a feeding tube for months. Nothing by mouth...not even water. When he was more alert and stable we told him the news. He was too much in pain to understand. He is still in the hospital (It's only been 6 days since surgery). He has asked for something to drink a few times, and they keep giving him the sponges on sticks, soaked in water. To be quite honest, I am very distraught. My father loves to eat. I've heard so many things about losing the ability to swallow and stuff that I am horrified. The surgery was supposed to restore quality of life and the goal was cure, but a life tied to a feeding tube, never tasting food again or feeling the cooling sensation of water doesn't seem like a good quality of life. I have been researching the device that acts like a pacemaker in the stomach...sounds promising... but I don't know. Could someone please tell me how I can help daddy get through this? I just don't want him to give up on life

Sorry to hear about this dilemma after you Dad's operation, I would have hoped they gave you fair warning. I will try to do some research for you. My prayers are with your family, Ed

Hi

I hope things are going better. Feeding tubes are very hard for anyone to adjust to, my mother lived with one for 6 years (she had Parkinson's) so when my husband at age 53 was faced with it for his head and neck cancer, he was willing to go for it. But, the reality of it is very hard.  He  had it for only 5 months and pushed the docs to take it out when he was able to eat some solids. In your dad's case, the lack of preparation for it makes it doubly hard and some people can't muster the optimism or whatever to accept a feeding tube. It's easy for the rest of us to say, get used to it, the alternative is no good or other non helpful things. reality is, it is his body that has been assaulted and men especially have a hard time with the loss of control that illness deals them. for the rest of our family and friends, it is a challenge to be able to socialize apart from food and when you have a feeding tube you don't like to sit at the table and pass the food around and not be able to have any so you can get isolated from your loved ones... with the dry mouth issues, there are lots of things to try, my hsb didn't get much help with anything prescribed and it just seemed to take time. Good luck,

prayerswith you