Scared

I am scheduled for mastectomy Tuesday.  I will have a port inserted during surgery for chemo that he is " going to hit me pretty hard with".

I was just diagnosed this week and scheduled for surgery and them chemo after recovery.  Why no radiation?  I did have a PET scan done.

I've not had opportunity to talk about these ? with my docs......this is alll happening so fast.  I am 47 years old and have a daughter whom I breastfed for 2 years for what thats worth and no family history.  I've infiltrating ductal carcinoma, 5cm tumor and currently grade IIA.

It would only seem logical that systemic therapy started as adjutive without local would indicate other possible tumors in body?

thanks for any replys.

 

I'm sorry for your news. I'm not qualified to answer any particular questions regarding breast cancer. I'm sure others will be along to help.

One thing I wanted to say is that I personally would not rush into anything until I knew more about it.

Take a week and do some research. Don't let the doctors rush you into anything you're not sure about, including chemotherapy.

Thank you.  I have had others tell me that I'm blessed they found my cancer in the early stages.  Treating as soon as possible is life saving.  That is the idea, right?

Hi Noahgail,

I would imagine that your physician is anxious to get this surgery done and treatment started as soon as possible because this is an infiltrating cancer, which means more aggressive, and they know it's already stage II, which yes, does mean it's possible that it's gotten farther than they've been able to tell so far - but more realistically, they just don't want to give it any more chance to get any farther.

However,  I think the other poster's advice is valid.  While it indeed may be important to act on this very quickly, I don't feel that you should be rushed into this until you feel comfortable that  you've had your questions answered, and that you understand what all the drs are sure of, what the risks are, of what the treatment will consist, why they haven't mentioned radiation, etc, etc.  Unless there is some reason that the surgeon can't wait a week to do the surgery, might be unlikely that asking to postpone the surgery a few days or a week or even two is going to be that hugely detrimental to your recovery.  

So, if you want more time to get this all under your belt, to have a chance to feel more in control, I think it's very reasonable to tell the docs that you aren't yet comfortable with all this and ask if the surgery can be rescheduled for a week or two later. And yes, you should ask if postponing will make that big of a difference.  If the doc says yes, it will, then insist that you get your questions answered NOW, so that you have time to assimilate as much of what's happening as you can before you have the surgery.

I know that when I had my surgeries, I was frustrated that I had to wait several weeks from the point of definite diagnosis until I could get the cancer removed.  Man, I wanted it done tomorrow.  However, in retrospect I was able to see that the longer time interval allowed me to get some things done at home, to prepare, and to get myself educated about what was being recommended.  However, I did not have an invasive cancer.  And that does make a difference, and time there can be of the essence.

So, I recommend that you talk to the dr and ask for more specific answers - why surgery so fast, specifically what follow up therapy, why he doesn't think radiation.  Start a notebook and/or file folder.  Keep a list of your questions, and write the answers down, too.  It's real easy to think that you've absorbed what's been said in the dr's office, etc, and then get home and realize you've forgotten what was said, or that you just don't understand it, or have more questions you should have asked.  Keeping these things written down really helps.

Also, keeping copies of written reports, labs, scans (and getting cd's of the scans is helpful too - in case you have another dr that needs to see them later on), etc - is valuable for keeping track of your care and progress.  After your surgery you should be able to get a copy of the operative and pathology reports, either from your dr or from the hospital medical records dept. You should be able to get reports of scans from whoever does the scan, once your dr has seen the results.

I know this is a really scary time for you.  If you start to feel overwhelmed, step back, take some slow deep breaths, and refocus on whatever it is you have to deal with right then and there, rather than all the stuff that looms so threateningly in the future.  The only moment that you have any control over ( that ANY of us have any control over) is the moment that you are in right now.  Keep that in focus, make that your reality, and you will do ok.  That's how everyone gets through cancer, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time.  You may find yourself having some big sighs - that's ok - it's good to get some really deep breaths - helps keep your head clear and everything in perspective.

And don't be afraid to have a cry or two, if you need it.  Tears are very cleansing, and your emotional reaction is just as valid as your intellectual reaction.  The shower or tub is a really good place to cry - it's private, the hot water is relaxing, and after you've gotten everything all cried out, take a nice soft washcloth and gently clean off your goopy face, and let yourself feel the peace that such a cry can bring.  Might be a little bit of a trembly peace, but the more you move through this process, the stronger you will feel.

Please let us know how things go - lots of good people at Cancer Compass who will be rooting for you!

Sincerely,

Tre

tre that was beautifully written.   i pray for each case i read about in cancer compass.   i have always known there are more good people than bad in this world.  you are an amazing example of kindness, and give wise suggestions.   dear scared there are always more people praying for us than we ever know.  i am praying for u now.  you will not stay in this uncertain and scared feeling forever.  let all the love that is around you now comfort you.  

Thank you, Tre, for taking so much of your time to offer your experience and comfort.  Exactly what I needed right now.  You are most kind.  Bless you for your compassion. 

Sandy

I just placed a phone call to my therapist.  Don't really know what I want to say or want to hear.  Isn't that nuts?  I'm waiting her call any minute.

finding out you have cancer is really hard when you already have other issues on your plate that you are dealing with.  I think you'll find a change in perspective on those issues - not that they won't be important any longer, but that they might sit on the back burner at times.  That isn't all bad - as long as  you get back to those issues as you are able, especially as you may find that the issues have continued to resolve.

 As for what one does or doesn't hear from the therapist as regarding the cancer, as long as the focus remains on effective coping, the therapist is doing their job. Thinking about mortality in a more immediate way can bring about many unanticipated changes - not all of them are bad.  Surprisingly, many people find out that they are much stronger than they ever thought they were before the diagnosis of cancer. Therapy for some other very serious problems had already taught me many great coping skills by the time I was diagnosed with cancer - I actually found that having to think about the cancer issue  showed me that I had already achieved quite a bit of inner peace about my life, and that peace undergirded me as I set forth to deal with this new physical issue.

Takes time to get there, and everyone journeys at their own pace and along their own path.  It's good that you've contacted your therapist, to let her know that there is this new threat in your life. Just remember to continue to be kind and gentle with yourself in the coming days.  Cancer literally thrives on anger, fear, hatred, bitterness, resentment, jealousy - any kind of negative emotion can bring about actual physical chemistry changes in cells that benefits cancer.  Love, compassion, joy, humor, tenderness - all these also bring about physical chemical changes in the body, but the changes from positive emotions nurture normal cells and act to deprive cancer of what it needs to grow.  Hopefully your therapist will encourage you to recognize the darker emotions floating around right now, to confront them and get them all out (which is why I recommend that people who are newly diagnosed give themselves permission and opportunity to cry - more than once , as needed), and then move on to a gentler, kinder, more nurturing self-acceptance. 

We'll be thinking about you on Tuesday.

Sincerely,

Tre

Tre,

I do have a mood disorder.  Bipolar affective disorder.  Have been a "survivor" for over 2 decades.  My psychologist has been pivitol regarding my journey of stability and a joy for life, if not more than medications ( which I do thank  God for meds!!).

In any event, she allowed me to cry, vent and just share how scared I .was.  I needed to talk.  And she said keep talking, talking and sharing.  ESPECIALLY with women survivors of breast cancer. Crying and mourning will come and go but as you mentioned to 'think' good thoughts and to focus on staying in the moment.

I was particularly interested in a program she mentioned to me.  "Shadow"?  Can anyone elaborate or know about this buddy system and how can I contact them?

Many thanks,

Sandy

I forgot to mention that I got my chest ex-ray and all is fine.  So I guess that is a positive thing regarding node involement?  Still no PET scan results.  Perhaps I am getting too worked up.