On 3/15/2009
bigsis1 wrote:
I am in florida in support of my brother, age 48, who has stage 4 bile duct cancer with mets to his liver, lymph nodes. He is on heavy doses of narcotics and anti anxiety drugs ( oxycontin/oxycodone). Some times he is ok , others barely able to keep his eyes open. He has let me drive on occasion but insisted on driving today when he clearly was impaired. I refused to go and he went anyway ( to an arts festival I had waited ALL DAY for him to wake up to go to). I feel so alone and without my feelings being taken into account. I resigned from my job to be here because of this and that he doesn't have any family of reliable friends here. He is not on his deathbed but needs help. I know he wants to be independent but how should I handle this ?? I don't want to get resentments and am doing this without any expectation of thanks or praise- even though it seems otherwise in this message.
bigsis1
Hi Bigsis1,
I am very sorry to hear about your brother - 48 is too damn young to be dealing with this very serious illness.
Your brother is in big trouble...there's not a stage 5. He should not be driving, he's on some real heavy drugs. I'm sure he may not give a damn, but the issue of driving but there is a strong possibility of killing some one else.
What you're going through is very hard and will only get harder.
Being there for him is just about all you can do...believe me, Bile Duct cancer in any stage is deadly...stage 4 is very serious business.
Take care, I know it's hard to stay strong, but that's all you have right now.
Leonard from Alamo, California