Hello -
My name is Cathy and I and I recently lost my mom to this horrible disease. On January 2, 2008 I took my mom to the hospital to have a surgery that was supposed to take one day. She was getting her gall bladder removed after years of putting it off. After all, she had heard of people dying from gall bladder surgery but who had ever heard of gall bladder cancer? Certainly none of us.
She ended up having several complications from the actual surgery. Her kidneys started to fail, she was having respiratory problems, her bile was leaking all over her body - all because of a botched surgery she spent several days in ICU and about a month and a half in the hospital. My 2 older brothers and I were impatiently waiting for her to get better. THey had told us she had cancer but after seeing a CT scan reassured us they should she was one of the lucky ones and that they caught it early enough. After regaining her strength she went to a specialist and they discovered it had spread to the lining in her stomach - the worst possible spot.
All of us were in complete disbelief because Mom was always very healthy and we had lost our Dad six years earlier very suddenly to a heart attack. This was the moment we had all dreaded and it came much too soon and much too young, I'm 25, my older brothers are 34 and 36. My mom was the most amazing person. She was so funny and always made everyone around her laugh. SHe was such a scatterbrain and just had opinions about everything and knew how to laugh at herself. Her and I had a very special mother-daughter relationship.
The doctors gave her 6 months to a year. We spent the remainder of 2008 going home to visit her every weekend, took a family trip to Las Vegas, had a few family reunions with extended family, saw one of my brothers get married, spent the holidays together, and she got to see me get engaged. I am currently planning my wedding and it is excruciatingly hard to do it without her but I know she's happy that I'm getting married.
In between time she had stints put in and had a rough time with chemo - very similar to many of your stories. This disease makes no sense - it seems like there is no cause and it happens to wonderful people that we love the most in life. I miss my mom more than I could've ever imagined before. I know this is not the usual post on this type of forum but I want all of you to know that she fought every day. Any day she felt well she went out and did something with her friends and family and told us how much she loved us and gave us good advice. As hard as it is and how much is sucks for the doctors to not give you any hope. You need to hold on to hope anyway - because that's what gets you through it and I wouldn't trade any of this last year for anything because my brothers and I have so many wonderful memories of my mom and we got to say goodbye. Support your loved one, don't give up hope, and while this may be a rare disease- remember there are other people who have faced it as well. I cry every day - no one my age knows what I'm going through - but I still move forward and hope that I can have a happy life anyway - and lean on my 2 brothers who are going through the exact same thing as me. For those of you who have already lost someone - may your memories of that person give you comfort and strength and for those of you still fighting - I pray for you to receive a miracle and hope that you can beat this horrible disease.