I am in a similar predicament. My dad just turn 66 - he retired last April. He too was a smoker.....smoked since he was late teens, quit when my oldest daughter (now 9) was born, but eventually picked the habit back up. Probably over the last few years he's smoked 1/3 pack per day -- still way too much.
He was diagnosed in early December with small cell lung cancer. He'd had a chest x-ray the December before with nothing showing on it. The tumor in his lung/chest was 8 1/2 cm. He had 36 radiation treatments to shrink - it's now 5 1/2 cm. Right before Christmas they started chemo - carboplatinum and VP16, which is a common first round treatment. He was sick his first time, then 2 - 4 were fine. No problems - when he was doing radiation at the same time he was very very tired and lost his appetite, but it all seemed to turn around. About 5 wks ago he started having pain in his hip area which started as minor but got much worse. Long story short, a MRI showed a new (or maybe it was there already) tumor. So, they threw out that chemo he had been and now Tuesday he's to start a new kind - Topotecan.
He initially had only the one tumor in his chest. He had "spots" on various other parts (liver, adrenal gland, maybe spine -- I honestly can't remember all). Now the adrenal gland tumor has grown and he has new spots on ribs.
I don't know which way is up most days. My dad does NOT want to die. I've been doing research on different places to go. We are in Indiana which has IU Medical Center - Lance Armstrong received his cancer treatment there. I've also looked into MD Anderson Center in Texas. We've got to do something.
Unfortunately there is no cure, but there is hope of an extended qualify of life. Our radiologist says the average lifespan is 6 mths - 2 years with this type of cancer (we do NOT ask about my dad in particular because it doesn't help matters) but he has people 5 and 6 years out in his "herd" as he calls it too.
He used to have his own practice where he incorporated alternative treatments. We have not done these yet because the chemo dr doesn't believe in them and doesn't want them potentially interfering with the chemo. We're talking about shark cartilage, blue-green algae, mushrooms and green tea - nothing too off the wall.
We lost my sister-in-law's husband to this awful cancer in October after just under a year of the battle. He was only 35 so he fought like hell. The doctors kept screwing around and he was in so much pain. My sister-in-law, through her pastor, touched base with a chiropractor in Florida. I don't know all the details, but people apparently swore by this woman as far as the herbs, etc she used and how she seemed to have quite an impact with cancer. It was a long shot, but they went to see her. The dr. was honest with them and his condition as it was really bad at the time. Although he didn't survive, again, he was in bad shape then, I can testify that the last few weeks of his life were pain free, without any type of pain medication other than the herbs, and he had an excruciating amount of pain prior to that.
The one thing I will stress.......DO NOT GIVE UP AND TAKE ONE OPINION. There are a lot of options out there. I had even contacted the Cancer Treatment Centers of America.
My parents had talked about not having chemo, however, my problem with that is that it’s not just that simple. Cancer gets uglier and uglier as it progresses. I’ve seen this with my mother-in-law who passed away from breast cancer and with my sister-in-law’s husband. If pain were not involved, it might be an easier decision, but it gets worse as the disease progresses and sometimes the chemo will help with that. Ultimately it’s your dad’s decision, but the rest of the family needs to be supportive and help gather the info for him to make an informed decision.
I’m so sorry for you.
Debbi