my mother has stage 4 breast cancer

My mom was diagnoised with breast cancer easter of 2008, She has gone through alot of treatments and none of them have been completely sucessful. She has breast cancer, liver cancer, lesions in her lungs and two spots on her rib bone. This whole thing has been a huge train running through my families lives and especially my moms. My mom is (57)years old and is one of the strongest people i know and it was deffiently a hard thing to watch her grow more and more dependant on my father sister and I. I really have lost alot of faith in pretty much anything and everything and i feel myself everyday getting more and more mad about this situation. My sister (33) on the other hand has become more faithful to certain things and knows there is something beyond this.

Not to long ago my mom asked to stop the chemo and wanted hospice to come in and take over. That is not easy to hear. But as a family we had to respect moms wishes and at least meet with some people and get a plan together. Now we have been with hospice for almost three weeks and i will say that we have had our ups and downs. She once got over medicated and was completely zoned out so we had to stop that certain medicine, but on the other hand my mom can get the built up stomach fluid (due to her liver not functioning correctly) drained in the comforts of home.

I know a lot of people my age,19, that have lost a parent to cancer, and honestly ontil now i cant imagine how they did it. I dont really have advice nor do i have something witty or eye opening to say, but just that everynight you dont sleep and every sick pain in your stomach dont hide it and dont hide what you feel make sure you live each day doesnt have to be to the fullest but make sure you live.

My mother has stage IV breast cancer too; we found out late last year.  She didn't even know she had cancer until her spine fractured in a minor car accident; so you can imagine the shock of it to everyone.  I remember her telling me  on the phone that she had some paperwork from the doctor in the mail and read it.  This was the paperwork with her scan results which "found suspicious lytic lesions that looked like metastasis".  English is not my mom's first language so I am always there to help her, even though she lives in Florida now.   I remember how she read that line and I was dumbfounded, and chills ran down my spine; poor mom was still in a good mood because she did not know the English word 'metastasis'.  I knew the doctor would not use that term in a report and would not direct my mom to more specialists for any old  reason.  I remember trying not to scare her as I had to try to translate what this may have meant;I remember how we both broke down in tears and how she said "it finally got me...".  I remember how our lives turned upside down that day.   She is on Arimidex now and as of yesterday I have been scared to death and worried because she is complaining of heartburn and fullness where the liver is; we are all so scared  and pray to God that it is not liver mets.  I am trying to be strong for her and not cry in front of her so she can stay strong.  I don't know what this journey will bring, but I am working on my relationship with God to help me deal with it and to be there for my mother when she needs me.  I pray she will be around many more years so we can still do the things together that we always wished to do, like take a cruise.  I know this disease is a monster, but I also know my mother is a fighter, and I am too so I can help her fight stronger.  I know all the families, friends and especially the ones with the cancer, are all courageous warriors who will win in the end; no matter how it ends.  I pray for my mother and all who have to deal with this and have dealt with it in the past.  God Bless.

hello at this point in my life I am struggling with cancer with my mother as well. She was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in 1995; 9 days before her mother passed with metastatic breast cancer. So as you can see, we have been blessed to have my mother in our lives for so long. She was 49 when she was diagnosed and had a stem cell transplant chemo radiation radical mastectomy. I was 14 yrs old when she was diagnosed. I went into a state of depression/anxiety and drug problem. I tried to avoid the situation, I thought it was all going down just like my grandmother. So she was technically in remission for 11 years. In Oct. 2007, she noticed swelling in her ankles and went to the ER. Her cancer returned in her abdomen. There was never a tumor; when they opened up her abdomen there were "tumor seeds." She was getting 18 lbs. of fluid drained from her belly almost weekly for 6 weeks. She had a partial hysterectomy. They left her uterus. Then when they were trying to give her "chemo" shots that would change hormonal levels....well they made her hemorrhage since they left the uterus so then she was getting 2-3 blood transfusions a week for awhile. So she was doing well for the past 2 years. She was taking oral chemo that gave her "hand and foot syndrome" which is like 2nd-3rd degree burns on hands and feet. So at Christmas time 2008, her left hip started hurting and she did not walk for a few weeks. We after CAT scans and MRIs that showed nothing, the bone scan showed tumor in the left femur. So valentines day 2009, she went for a total hip replacement plus~ is what the MD called it. She recovered wonderfully from this surgery and was walking again and had her beauty back. Now another set back has occured. On her 63rd birthday march 30th she had her gallbladder removed~ she had a stone the size of a golf ball in there!!! Amazing. So now this surgery has caused her a lot of pain and she said after all the surgeries she has had, this has been the worse. She had major infection and was started on antibiotics. I have been with her this weekend to keep an eye on her and to make sure that the infection is not worse and her becoming septic. She is a wonderful woman and strong fighter.It is soooo very hard to see one that you love go through one thing after another. And I am married and my husband is not being supportive at all. He does not understand why I have been staying the night over here to help my mother. Now that is messed up! I have cried for the past 3-4 days I am a mess. I feel I have no human being to turn to.. It was always my mother. Jesus Christ is my hope and savior that I turn to for my strength and healing and peace. It is a long long road. So, I send all my prayers to you and others who are struggling with this same issue. It is a struggle and battle for all involved. Continue to do your best to keep the faith, it is so hard yes I know. It is so hard to understand. It is soo easy to get angry and mad because of the situation, but remember keeping faith with comfort you. Believe in the things that you can not see. Pray for miracles for they do happen. My mother is a miracle her doctors have called her that. Spend as much time with your mother and have no regrets. My love and prayers to you 

 

On 3/29/2009 cdp212 wrote:

My mom was diagnoised with breast cancer easter of 2008, She has gone through alot of treatments and none of them have been completely sucessful. She has breast cancer, liver cancer, lesions in her lungs and two spots on her rib bone. This whole thing has been a huge train running through my families lives and especially my moms. My mom is (57)years old and is one of the strongest people i know and it was deffiently a hard thing to watch her grow more and more dependant on my father sister and I. I really have lost alot of faith in pretty much anything and everything and i feel myself everyday getting more and more mad about this situation. My sister (33) on the other hand has become more faithful to certain things and knows there is something beyond this.

Not to long ago my mom asked to stop the chemo and wanted hospice to come in and take over. That is not easy to hear. But as a family we had to respect moms wishes and at least meet with some people and get a plan together. Now we have been with hospice for almost three weeks and i will say that we have had our ups and downs. She once got over medicated and was completely zoned out so we had to stop that certain medicine, but on the other hand my mom can get the built up stomach fluid (due to her liver not functioning correctly) drained in the comforts of home.

I know a lot of people my age,19, that have lost a parent to cancer, and honestly ontil now i cant imagine how they did it. I dont really have advice nor do i have something witty or eye opening to say, but just that everynight you dont sleep and every sick pain in your stomach dont hide it and dont hide what you feel make sure you live each day doesnt have to be to the fullest but make sure you live.

I'm so sorry for you.  I lost a parent when I was 21 and it sucks.  You are too young for this.  If I had it to do over I would've asked a lot of questions stuff  you need to know.  Maybe you can write some stuff down..with her for her and about her.  Make recordings that are silly and encouraging because with all the high tech ways we have to memorialize someone ,,,it can be there for you as needed.  Perhaps you could initiate a letter (if she is able to write back) and see how you are alike and find that she is so deeply ingrained in you..you will never really be without her.  I want to hug you from here.  I am also 57 and a mom.  I'm sending these ideas as encouragement to you.  I hope it helps.

i want to hug u this very moment.my mother in law was going through chemo for ovarian when my mum was dicovered with a met in her liver.i have an eight year son and keep going to look after them.god knows what will be in store for me.