Hi, although I'm sure you'll get answers here, you may find you get even more if you ask again on kidney-onc, which you can join on http://cancerguide.org/kofaq/
It has a huge amount of collective experience, and is run by two extremely knowledgeable people who are very clued up about all the treatment options, pros and cons, etc.
All the very best, and sorry to hear that it's such a tricky situation for you.
Julie.