Scared to death

I am 22 and have been dealing with this stuff for 2 years now.  I have had 4 biopsies, 1 cryo and was just informed after my last biopsy a week ago that my dr is very concerned about a place inside my cervical canal. Turns out the places have spread since my last one. I ended up having 6 places. He said he was real concerned about that one and that I would most likely be getting the LEEP procedure. I would have preferred the cryo again but he said he cant get to the one inside the canal. He said he isnt necessarily saying it has already turned to cancer but we needed to wait til the results which I should get in the next few days. I am scared! For one I dont really know what to expect. I am absolutely terrified of needles. My last biopsy was awful. He took one from one of the places and of the one in the canal. They hurt so bad they had to try to keep me on the table cuz I was trying to get away from him. The cryo didnt phase me but this scares me. We first talked about it 2 years ago but he decided to wait. I have dreaded this the whole time. I would prefer to be asleep so I didnt know what was going on but its going to be an in office procedure.

 

On 5/19/2009 britt3673 wrote:

I am 22 and have been dealing with this stuff for 2 years now.  I have had 4 biopsies, 1 cryo and was just informed after my last biopsy a week ago that my dr is very concerned about a place inside my cervical canal. Turns out the places have spread since my last one. I ended up having 6 places. He said he was real concerned about that one and that I would most likely be getting the LEEP procedure. I would have preferred the cryo again but he said he cant get to the one inside the canal. He said he isnt necessarily saying it has already turned to cancer but we needed to wait til the results which I should get in the next few days. I am scared! For one I dont really know what to expect. I am absolutely terrified of needles. My last biopsy was awful. He took one from one of the places and of the one in the canal. They hurt so bad they had to try to keep me on the table cuz I was trying to get away from him. The cryo didnt phase me but this scares me. We first talked about it 2 years ago but he decided to wait. I have dreaded this the whole time. I would prefer to be asleep so I didnt know what was going on but its going to be an in office procedure.

I'm so sorry for you.  I am terrified by needles too.  I'm hoping for surgery, though my chances with it are small.  A doctor recently shoved a long thin glass tube up inside me to view the inner works.  God, it hurt.

And you started this when you were twenty!  I hope everyone will pray for you, as I will. 

                     --PWC

Hi.  I hope that things are going better for you than when you last posted.  I see that you posted in May, and no one replied to you before I did.  So maybe you're not checking anymore, maybe you gave up.

I'm sort of in the same boat as you, but I feel especially sorry for you because you are so young.  I'm 59 and I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in mid-December 2008, when I was 58.  I've lived more than double the time of your life before I had this curse fall on me.

I have a big phobia of needles, too, and I truly hate pain,  But the worst thing for me is that I have very little hope of getting cured.  Mine is stage T3c and I started out with a PSA of 185, and anything above 4 is considered dangerous.  I also have a big phobia of cancer, and I can barely deal wtih the fact that I am very likely to be killed by this monster.  I'm very scared, both of the pain I'm likely to suffer and of my death.

I don't know what your prognosis is, the likely outcome of your treatments.  I hope that you will be cured.  You're too young even to know how young you are. 

If you want to be asleep during some of these procedures, tell your doctor so, let him know you really want that.  Some doctors care a lot about people and you might get what you want if you make sure your doctor knows how much you want it.

In your post, you sounded like you need someone to talk with, someone who will care and try to understand what you are going through.  If you check the board and read this messge, let me know if you still need that.  I'll be that person, if you would like.  Actually, I hope you find all kinds of people who will help you in all kinds of ways.

When I pray for myself, I'll also be praying for you.  Goodbye for now.

--PWC