Cancer should be a four letter word...

I guess it is in some ways.  I have always had hope.  But now... well now I can say for the first time in my live that I truly hate cancer.

My Mom was diagnosed in April 1983 with breast cancer.  She had a radical masectomy and went through a year of monthly treatments.  She is a survivor.

I was diagnosed in April 1985 with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.  I went through just over two and a half years of weekly treatments with an additional 3 weeks of cranial radiation.  I am a survivor.

In January 2007 my Mom had a routine check-up.  The cancer had come back and it was now in the bone.  She started monthly treatments and is surviving, if not thriving.  She has a lot of pain and the cancer will never completely go away.  It is metastatic breast cancer.

In February 2008 my Dad was diagnosed with Cholangiocarcinoma.  He began treatments in March.  This February, cancer took my Dad from us.  It is the first time in my entire life that I truly hated cancer. 

It has taken me 3 months to come back on this site; and even now I sit here crying.  I still cannot believe he's gone.  Mom said when she woke up this morning she thought she had to be quiet because she didn't want to wake Dad up... then she remembered he was gone. 

Our comfort is we know that we will see Dad again.  He went so peacefully that night.  He no longer has any pain.  He is where he lived his life to be... and if you get there before I do, just listen for the choir... he'll be one of those heavenly bass voices singing God's praises.

I miss you Daddy.

And I will learn to hope again.

On 5/22/2009 DWsLittleGirl wrote:

I guess it is in some ways.  I have always had hope.  But now... well now I can say for the first time in my live that I truly hate cancer.

My Mom was diagnosed in April 1983 with breast cancer.  She had a radical masectomy and went through a year of monthly treatments.  She is a survivor.

I was diagnosed in April 1985 with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.  I went through just over two and a half years of weekly treatments with an additional 3 weeks of cranial radiation.  I am a survivor.

In January 2007 my Mom had a routine check-up.  The cancer had come back and it was now in the bone.  She started monthly treatments and is surviving, if not thriving.  She has a lot of pain and the cancer will never completely go away.  It is metastatic breast cancer.

In February 2008 my Dad was diagnosed with Cholangiocarcinoma.  He began treatments in March.  This February, cancer took my Dad from us.  It is the first time in my entire life that I truly hated cancer. 

It has taken me 3 months to come back on this site; and even now I sit here crying.  I still cannot believe he's gone.  Mom said when she woke up this morning she thought she had to be quiet because she didn't want to wake Dad up... then she remembered he was gone. 

Our comfort is we know that we will see Dad again.  He went so peacefully that night.  He no longer has any pain.  He is where he lived his life to be... and if you get there before I do, just listen for the choir... he'll be one of those heavenly bass voices singing God's praises.

I miss you Daddy.

And I will learn to hope again.

I feel you, I cried when I read your post.  I lost my dad in late 07, 6 months later mom was diagnosis of Lung Cancer and battling to be treated as they said mom is terminal stage... 

I hate this word to the bone. I still cant sleep at night.  I cant eat, i miss daddy badly.  I missed the vacation we took together...  many things, i still dream about him occasionally.  My parents are my closest friends... I sometimes dont understand, my parents done a lot of good deeds in younger & adult age why they have to suffering this... I dont get it at all....I live with so many guilts right now. 

Life is sucks in my book...

Victoria