My daddy is gone

Thank you all the support. This board was such a comfort for me is this short two months since we found out about my dad. I am comforted in knowing that he is not in pain anymore.

Shanda 

Dear Shanda,

 I am so sorry you lost your dad to this horrible disease.  He is finally at peace.  I lost my husband Mike February 22, 2008 to this cancer and I miss him so very much.  I am consoled knowing I will see him again someday.  Take comfort in that fact - you will be with your dad again. 

Diane, Mike's wife

Hi Diane,

 I remember reading your story and it was so touching. My moms name is Diane to, we are totally devasted but we take comfort in knowing he is not suffering anymore and like you, we believe we will see him again. Thank you so much for the nice words. He went so fast it has only been two months and he's gone already. The funeral is Thursday and I will be glad when its over so we can start to heal. Thinking of you

Shanda 

On 5/28/2009 shanda39 wrote:

Thank you all the support. This board was such a comfort for me is this short two months since we found out about my dad. I am comforted in knowing that he is not in pain anymore.

 

Shanda 

Shanda:

I am so sorry for your loss. My son's Father was diagnosed on

April 4th with stage 1V and he is doing the radiation and temador

chemo therapy. I try to help my son out he is an only child and his

father has lost his life. He can not work he was a master mathmetician.

Worked for the government and know he just sits and stares. It is heartbreaking watching my son and his father go through the pain.

Can you tell me if you got Hospice involved right away. The doctors

have told us that we should. My son's father is not the same man

he was before his episode and diagnosis. How can I be of help to

both of them. I go to every appointment with them and I have found

help for him and his father. I take care of all the appointments and

do all the filings on his insurance and prepare the bills for payment.

I don't know what else to do. Prior to us putting him in an Assited

living center my husband and I took him in and I watched him for

6 weeks as my son is an only child. I feel so helpless if there is

any type of advise you can give me I would appreciate it. They

told my son that he has a second tumor inoperable and two

masses that could not be removed. I just keep praying that

God is merciful and that he gives my son the strength to

endure all the pain and suffering. Thanks Linda

Shanda-   I am sooooo sorry that you experienced this loss as well.  It is so devastating, I know.  It is so painful to see a loved one in that much pain and discomfort.  The only comfort I get is that my sister is not suffering any more.  But that is the only comfort.  I miss her so terribly much. It doesn't feel real.  One minute I am up and one minute I am down. Never know how I am going to feel.   My sister's service was this past Thursday and now everyone returns to their lives and we are left to pick up the pieces and try to figure out how to move on without her.  

I pray for you and your family to get through this.  Everyone has told me that it will seem unreal for a very long time and that time is the only healer... that eventually, we will be able to think of our loved ones without the intense emotions that we experience now.  

If there is anything I can do to help or if you just need someone to listen do not hesitate to message me privately.   We have to help one another get through this.   It is sooo hard.   I move between devastation, worry, sadness, anger....  the list goes on.    I worry so much that m sister knew she was dying and that she was panicking or scared on the inside but unable to communicate that to us.  She couldn't talk and was very unresponsive.  However, in the end she was trying to make sound.   It scares me so much to think that she was telling us she didn't want to die.   It was so hard to be there when she passed but I wouldn't have been anywhere else. I hope she knows we were there but I hope she wasn't lucid enough in her mind to be aware of what was happening.   That thought just haunts me.

My prayers go out to you and your family.   I hope that God comforts you during this time.   I am sorry to say that I haven't felt much comfort from Him though.  I try not to be angry because I know that God didn't do this to her.... He just didn't stop it for whatever reason.

Hang in there.... remember to take deep breaths and take care of you during this time. Do not push yourself.

Tracy

Hi Tracy,

 I remember your story, I am so sorry for the loss of your sister at such a young age. My dad's funeral is this Thursday same day. I know how you feel some moments I'm fine and the next time I'm crying it is really amazing how bad you feel. I am just glad he is not suffering anymore because he was in so much pain the day he died. It was just so short it was only two months, we just can't believe how quickly he died.  I just hope that my mom is ok she loved him so much and was there until he took his last breath.

I will be glad when the funeral is over so we can start to heal. Thanks for the nice words, I imagine I will need to talk and often. People that haven't gone through it can't really understand. Surprisingly, I have been coming to work but I will fly out on Wednesday I just dread Thursday because I know it is going to be so sad. I'm just praying to make it through.

Shanda   

Hi Linda,

 I feel so bad for you. All you can say is to stay positive for him and your son despite what the doctors told my dad we just stayed positive and kept saying daddy, you will be ok of course, that was not meant to be but we did our best to keep him calm. That is all you can do my mom just said well, however much longer he has I will make him comfortable. I know you have to be devasted for your son's sake I can only imagine.

This is a awful, awful disease. It took my dad in two months we are just shocked at how fast it was. We did not do hospice because my father was rushed to the emergency room and died their the day after. My dad was in so much pain that we could not take him home to die like he wanted. He suffered so much pain that towards the end they just kept giving him medicine he was so doped up. My mom kept saying I dont want him to die in pain. I will pray for you Linda it is my hope that someone can beat this ugly and awful disease.

Shanda