One thing your mom needs is normal life. Cause she will be thinking
about what she is going to miss if she leaves you. If you dont change
your normal pattern with your mom, you keep her feeling somewhat
normal. You need to talk to your mom about how you feel, because that
will also help her and I am sure you. Just love your mom and treat her
the same. She needs that most of all cause her life has changed. you shouldn't feel bad.
i know at least in my experience that i got sick and tired of
everything always being about my health and me being sick. i craved
some semblance of normalcy. so i was happy when i talked with my
friends and it wasn't "so how are you doing, how are you feeling,
when's your next check-up" it makes us feel like we are nothing but the
disease when thats all we hear and thats all anyone will talk about.
at the same time though (and i don't know about anyone else, just
speaking from personal experience) i didn't like it if people acted
like there was NOTHING wrong, or how can i say this the right way? they
ignored the fact that i was sick? then i would feel hurt inside, my
mind would be thinking "geez don't they care at all that i'm going
through this?"
i am sure it was incredibly difficult on all of my family and friends to walk that tight rope.
my best advice would be to ask her how she is doing, try to get her to
talk about it b/c she has a million different things going through her
head right now, and if she just found out she probably does need that
focus. but if she asks you how you are doing, don't make small talk,
tell her the truth. "unload on her" (as you would say) she is used to
you doing that and she will be able to tell if you aren't doing it
anymore.
cancer can make us feel so helpless, so weak and if you don't talk to
her about your problems (when she asks) then she may feel like
(subconciously) that you are saying she is to weak to help you. we
already feel extremely weak and helpless in everything else in our
lives, so we do want something to feel more normal and we want to be
able to help someone else esp. since we feel like we can't help
ourselves at the moment.
i hope some of this helps and isn't too confusing.
http://doctorfinders.com/doctor.php?Provider=pangelos