ASC-H Pap, very scared, need happy thoughts!!!!!

Hi. I am 30 years old and about a month ago I went in for regular my pap and 2 weeks later I was given my results. They told me my pap was abnormal, it was ASC-H, moderate to severe, precancerous. They scheduled me for a colposcopy but the earliest appointment was a month later. So here I am, 2 weeks after my scary result, but 2 weeks to go until the colposcopy & I am terrified & having serious stress & anxiety!!! I've been crying a lot, loss of appitite, & my whole body feels like one big knot. I know that stress is the worst thing for me right now but I can't help it! I think the worst thing is that I keep doing research online & all I read are these scary stories where people with this pap result end up finding invasive cancers & I've read that ASC-H is most likely precancerous. I've read the statistics, the message boards, the facts. I read the symptoms for cervical cancer & thinking back, I have had pain & discomfort during sex in the past, scared again. I've had some spotting after my period, but then again I just started the pill again so I'm hoping that is why. And I don't know if it's psychosomatic, but I feel slight pains in my uterus ever since I found out. I am envisioning death or not being able to have children or years & years of uncertainty & tests like many woman I have read about. I know I still have not even had the colposcopy or biopsy to even hear results, but the unknown is driving me crazy. And I know I will have to wait a few weeks after that to hear the results!

Also I have only had 1 partner who is my husband & I have only been sexual active for 5 years. If I got HPV from him, could it have changed into precancer after only 5 years? I thought it takes many years to progress? This makes me fear,do I have the fast spreading, most deadly form of cervical cancer?

SO PLEASE- If anyone has any positive, up-lifting stories after a similar result, I could use some!!!! If you feared the worst but it turned out ok, even after any surgical procedures, give me a good story! Advice on how to relax & feel better? You had spotting with an abnormal result but it was something else? I'm so sick of scary stories that I find online. Maybe the best thing would be to stop looking this up on the internet. I did it to be informed & all it has done is given he so much fear! My husband tells me that people who post stories online would most likely be the ones with bad experiences because people who turn out ok just move on with their lives. Please give me some happy stories, I really need it!!!!!!

I realize it's scary to have an abnormal PAP smear. But by educating yourself, it will empower you because you'll be making an informed decision. It will also take away the fear by removing the mystery. This way, you'll make your informed decision from a position of calm. Here is what you can do to educate yourself. I'll also give you some links that will explain this to you. Bear in mind your doctor is supposed to educate you, per requirement. So, if this isn't happening, don't hesitate to get a new doctor. You want somebody who is ethical enough and cares enough to want you educated enough to make that informed decision. Your doctor also needs to work in partnership with you rather than making decisions to do something to you.

1. Look at the lab report, It will tell you exactly what you have.

2. Make your doctor give you a full description of what you have, where it's located, how many cervical quadrants are involved, if it's in the endocervical canal, and if it's in the endocervical glands. If you have trouble understanding the terms, have the doctor draw you a picture.

3. Don't let the doctor talk you into surgery until you have thoroughly educated yourself not only about your condition but about all your treatment options - cryosurgery, laser, LEEP, and cold knife cone biopsy. This is a requirement. The ACOG has set down some guidelines about managing CIN I and II in very young women (Per that organization, moderate dysplasia has a very high chance of regressing, which is why it cautions doctors to be conservative in their approach.)  All surgical options have the same success rate. So, what you have will determine the best surgery for you if you need it.

I'm now going to give you links to help you understand what you have. On some of the websites, you just have to click on the various links to maneuver around for information.

This is an older site, but the information is so concise, I like it.

http://www.mjbovo.com/Women/DysplasiaRx.htm

This is one of the few doctors who wants his patients to be educated. I wish all doctors followed his example.

http://www.gynalternatives.com/default.htm

This will explain HPV

http://www.merckmedicus.com/pp/us/hcp/diseasemodules/hpvd/na

Right now, there is a lot you can do to boost your immune system so that your body's immune system will be strong, again. Women have used alternative treatment to either clear up abnormalities, or they have used it in conjunction with traditional surgery. I'll give you links with some information.

Tany01 and Chemiszt24 used alternative medicine to clear up dysplasia.

http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,25090

Here is the homeopathy thread. Tumor gives excellent information, which includes the Green Drink. I enjoy it daily.

http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,24002

Trehouse is a cancer survivor and has excellent information for people.

http://motherearthtreasurechest.blogspot.com/search/label/ab

There is also the cervical_dysplasia group onYahoo. The woman who set up the group worked with a naturopathic doctor she found, after she read about Dr. Tori Hudson's work.

Whatever you choose to do - traditional surgery, alternative medicine, becoming a candidate for the therapeutic medicaion proving successful in clinical trial, a combination of any those, or Plan A and Plan B - the important part, again, is that you are informed.

Another thing to be mindful of is that waiting for results is always the hardest part.  Once you find out the results and educate yourself (herenow's links are excellent and will teach you a lot), you will breathe a sigh of relief when you decide upon a plan.  No matter what your decision is, having a plan in place gives you something to focus on and you can concentrate on the day-to-day treatment instead of what feels like a gigantic monster standing in your way. 

You're going to get through this okay.  Try to stay in the present and keep putting one foot ahead of the other.  Don't look too far down the road.  Good luck.

Thank you so much for your replies!!!!! I am doing SO much better today. When I wrote that I was just sitting around dwelling & worrying about the negative, imagining the worst & driving myself crazy!!!! You are both right, I will feel a lot better just knowing what is going on after the colposcopy. Also, I actually went to the bookstore today & bought 3 books that have really helped me & changed my outlook. One is "The Secret" which I know people have been loving for years but I never felt the need to read. The chapter about health & postitive thinking has given me somewhere else to focus my energy. I am now just envisioning a healthy cervix, a perfect healthy body. I'm hoping this mind over matter thing works, I believe it surely can help. If anything, it is given me a more positive outlook. I also bought "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" by Christina Northrup, MD. It is also all about healing the body through the spirit & the mind/body connection & how stress manifests through problems with the body. She said interesting things about cervical abnormalities, how some clear up on their own & other become precancerous. She said that the body should clear it up on it's own, but there are factors of stress & environment that cause it to stay. Again, this makes me realize I need to chill out about this whole sitiuation because my stress can only make it worse! And she recommends many vitamins for this, such as folic acid, B compex. This all makes me feel less helpless, I can use my mind & vitamins to help improve my pap results. And lastly, I bought "Quantum Healing" by Deepak Chopra. It again is about healing with the mind & although I haven't begun reading, it looks like it will be very enlightening. Now I haven't suddenly become a New Age fanatic, but this whole thing has certainly opened my eyes to the connection between stress & the body! I feel as if a new door has opened for me! Rather than searching online over & over about abnormal paps & cervical cancer & stessing myself by reading stories with scary outcomes, I now intend on focusing on managing stress, positive thoughts, & healing my body through the mind. I will visualize my healthy body, my healthy cervix. I will take my vitamins & eat lots of fruits & veggies. Hopefully this will all make the results easier to handle & my physical healing to progress as quick as possible! Thank you again for all of your advice! I am feeling very educated now. I was in such a panic the last time I wrote & now I am starting to feel some peace inside where I was full of stress & anxiety. Positive thoughts of healing from now on!!!!! :)

I just have to share this!!!! I believe "The Secret" works!!!!! Here is what just happened: As I told you all yesterday, I started reading The Secret to get some positive inspiration during this time of stress & anxiety. Well when I went in for my annual pap, I was uninsured & had it done at Plaanned Parenthood. Once my results came out abnormal, this made my husband & I try to get insurance through his work which we never really looked into before because of his unusual job. He sumbmitted for it last week. I was reading The Secret again today, constantly thinking good thoughts about my body & my health. One of my thoughts was "I want our insurance to come through soon, to be approved". Then I was reading about someone who had to see proof that the Laws of Attraction really work. And then moments later I decided to call my husband just to say hello. As the phone was ringing, my email chimed in to say I got an email. My husband answered & asked if I got the email saying for me to call him. I said no, it chimed as I was calling, Well, not only did the email say for me to call, it was telling us we had been approved for medical insurance!!!!! It was so freaked out, a rush came over my body & few tears came out! Maybe it was all coincedence, but it was all just too odd & too amazing for me to just brush off. I think The Secret is working for me!!!! So now I am insured, I can get the best treatment possible! I am now a strong believer in the Laws of Attraction, that in the mean time, I can use my mind can heal my body. I am hoping my thoughts will clear up any abnormalities in my body. Positive thoughts!!!!! AMAZING!!!!

If you're still interested in hearing a "good result" story, let me know :) 

 As you've been reading, just try to relax (I know that's hard!!!!!) eat well, take vitamins, work out, stay healthy in every way you can.  Also, if you have HPV (did they test for this? They should have) you can take Folic Acid supplements.  Either way it won't hurt you if  you don't.  

 Wait until you get the colposcopy.  The Pap could even be wrong. 

Remember that what you read on the internet isn't necessarily true.  

 

 

The unknown is always the most unnerving...I certainly agree you need to make educated decisions buuuuuuuut..surfing the net aimlessly will only add to your fears and uncertainty and it will most definitely add a TON of needless stress.  Until you know exactly what it is you are facing, going on line and making , what I like to call..."symptom comparisons"... is emotionally draining.  I did that for about 2 days and then decided I was not going to consume every waking minute with what I could possibly be facing...Once I made the decision to wait for my results and to talk openly with my doctor and husband, I eliminated 100% of my self imposed and needless extra stress level...then and only then was I able to go ahead and research my options and ultimately make a very informed decision.

PLEASE make sure you and your doctor have a "perfect fit" ...!!!!!!!  You must be 1000% confident and comfortable with your fit. In the event you do need to make some difficult choices...it is the best gift you can give yourself.

My prayers are with you and always remember the support out there is endless.