On 6/18/2009
melqnsny wrote:
It will be a month on June 21st Father's Day, that my dad had passed way. He fought till the very end!!! This is very true. He never gave up and was willing to do anything to stay alive. He was admitted into North Shore University Hospital in Long Island on 5/8. The doctors told me he had about a few days to a week on5 /15. The hardest part for me as his daughter, was hearing from one of his doctors that my dad isn't going to last long.WE never told him that because it broke our hearts to know that we will be crushing his spirits, faith and hope that he so much had. I think he was somewhat in denial. i will never know because he never talked dying or even said the word cancer. but i think he knew what was going on. he just didn't want us to worry.
He had a tumor removed as well as his right kidney just for precaution about 8/9 years ago. He had his regular check ups but it wasn't until 2 yrs ago that the area where they had the tumor and kidney removed had cancerous cells and had spread to his right lung and stomach. our world came crashing down. but his oncologist was very determined to beat this and to my dad he was god and trusted him with his life. the doctor's name is Dr. Francis Arena. He is in the Long Island, NY area. Right way my dad started of with Avastin....no major side effects. That worked for a few months but the cells started to get bigger. Sutent was next......it worked for about a year and a half. the side effects were pealing of the hands and feet!!! it was bad. he hand blisters and sores on his tongue etc that made it hard for him to walk but he said it could of been worse. around aug/sept of 08 sutent stopped working. from the scans...we found out that his right long had more cancerous cells. Torisel was the next drug and the drug that i believe did the worse damage to my dad. don't get me wrong it did work!!! but the side effects were worse than the cancer. he had this rash thar was something i had never seen in my life. at first it looked like a bad sunburn...then peeling....then came the changing of skin color.....made it look like he just came back from vacation....to then just flaking of the skin. it was an ordeal. nothing worked to be honest...no lotion or presribed ointment helped.this went on from oct till the day he died. that was the only major side effect from torisel even after he stopped taking it in dec. bc it was so strong. he wouldn't sleep at night bc of the itching. aside from that he had to monitor his sugar blood level which went down from time to time.
around feb of this year 2009 he started and new chemo drug called velban. His doctor was very determined and so was my dad. we had wanted him to stop bc his quality of life wasn't the best. he lost so much weight :(. my dad was dying before our eyes. velban had no side effects. which was odd bc my dad will always get the side effect bc he just had that luck and that was our way of knowing if the drug was working. weird thing to say right ? we knew velban wasn't working only bc he hasn't had any chemo from dec to feb and no ct scan. we were pissed bc we knew within those 3 months the cancer had to have grown and spread. but my dad trusted his doctor. so we left it alone. my dad lost more weight. from a healthy 180-85lb to 140lbs to about 100lbs when he died. feb march april....all those months passed us by. my dads sleepless nights....him not eating much...cleaning up after him in a sense of he had to wear a diaper bc he couldnt walk fast enough to the bathroom.....telling him not to scratch....flaking of the skin in the bathroom bc thtat's where he would scratch away and we had to sweep it.
may came and he had glacoma surgery in one bc he couldnt see. friday may 8th we had an appointment to find out if velban was working. may2nd we noticed that his stomach was huge. he said it didnt hurt but inside we feared the worse. that his kidney was shutting down. a week b4 that he saw a kideny speacialist that said that his only kideny is working overtime but it was ok. sun mon tues weds thurs & fri may 8th is the day we fearedbc we will find out the ct results to c if velban was working. when the doc saw him...he didnt like what he saw...the bloating of the stomach and hard as a rock feeling. they had to take him to the hospital. the doc never told my dad the actual results but said that he need to get rid of the fluids and that he had an option of stopping treatment or trying out a new drug that began with the letter "a" that just came out. sorry but i can't remember the name. of course my dad was willing to try anything and said yes!! we were mad at him bc he just wasn't getting the picture that nothing as working but felt bad bc we knew he wanted to fight!!! we supported his decision. i spoke to the doctor privately and he told me the truth, there was nothing else to be done. he called my dad a saint bc he put up with a lot and fought his way to beat the odds.
we took him in may 8th to get the fluids drained and from that day he never came back home. he was declining everyday. he stopped eating all together. it broke my heart to see him laying in his bed with a confused look (this was bc of the drugs they gave him to ease the pain). my poor dad still had hope that he was going to make it. on may 15 they told me that he had to much protein in his only kidney and that dialysis will help relieve his pain but they only gave him a few days to a week. from the 15th-21st he lost his ability to talk. he would make grunting sounds to communicate with my sis mom aunt and i. he used hand signals. he would smirk and slient laugh. he actually did say a few word but he would get exhausted. The last time i saw him was sun. may17th....i gave him a kiss and he just looked at me and i would say things to make him laugh etc. priceless. mon i took the day off to go to the doc myself to get checked out but my sis and mom went to c him. tue and weds i had to work as well as my sis but my mom stayed home only bc stupid fedex couldnt deliver a damn package that we needed (it was forms for my dad to sign that gave my mom permission to handle his assets). the pack actually came late weds but the cab driver that we hired to take us back and forth from queens to long island wasnt available. this was me thinking he had time left for me to see him that week. thurs the 21st one of his doctors called me to tell me that his kidney was failing and that the dialysis isn't working.my mom went in to see him. she called me up at my job around 12:20/30 to tell me that my dad looked worse and that he was heavily sedated. the nurse said he should be waking up soon. she told me that if i can see him today. i told her i would ask my bf if he would take me. around 12:45 my mom called my cell phoone while i was at lunch she was cryingand told me my dad passed away in a matter of 15 mins.
i left work and met up with my sister, friend and bf. we rushed to the hospital. we saw my mom next to my dad. my mom said that he never woke up but she was talking telling him that she was there. the nurses say that he was aware that she was there and he was waiting for her so he can go in peace and be happy and pain free with god. a few days prior he signed a paper stating that he did not was a feeding tube or resesitated. my mom said hehad opened his eyes wide open and she noticed that he wasnt breathing. she ran for help but it was too late. we know that he died quickly and peacfully. his death certificate said he had died of cardiorespiratory arrest due to the cancer.
I MISS MY DAD SO MUCH!!!!! there isn't a day or hr that i don';t think of him.
he was a fighter till the end. please don't lose hope. my dad battled KIDNEY CANCER for 8/9yrs. there is hope believe me!!!!
good luck everyone who is battling cancer.
sorry for the long post.
-Melissa Queens, NY