Need some advise

My wife was diagnosed with stage 2b pancreatic cancer in Sept. 2008, she had whipple surgery in October of 2008 and was only in the hospital 6 days and came out with flying colors.  In November she was scheduled to start radiation and chemo but the healing from the surgery delayed this until after chrismas when they did a cat scan prior to starting, then the cat scan revealed 2 spots in the liver and a tumor in the small intestine.  Radiation was cancelled and in mid January 2009 they started her on gemzar, 3 weeks on 1 week off.  Her marker was 77,000 when started and was reduced to 2300 by May 2009, however the latest scan revealed the spots on the liver had enlarged from 1.0 centimeters to 1.8 and three new spots had developed causing the doc to cease treatments with Gemzar.  Her last marker (June 2009) was 5500 and she seems to weaken much faster now and have some abdominal pain starting to bother her,  Is this how the end starts?  All the caregivers here are wonderful but either I am not asking how long or what can I expect or they don't know.  Both my wife and I have not discussed this and her attitude has been outstanding through all phases of this, she is a lot stronger peron than I will ever be.  Anyone have any advise or experience with when or what I need to look for please send me a message.

Thank You  Art38301

Art,

I don't have the answers to your questions, sorry.  I did want to tell you I'm sorry for what you're going through and you and your wife are in my prayers, I know prayers helped me.  I do think you guys should talk with each other about what's going on.  It's a giant elephant in the room, it's on both of your minds.  I'm sure you'll find it very helpful for the both of you to talk, you're both probably just nervous about upseting the other.  Please keep us updated.

Christine-OH

Hi Art,

Sorry to meet you here under these circumstances.

First I would say I think you need a new oncologist for your wife.  She appears to need more aggressive chemo than just Gemzar.  Many patients live a lot longer, even with liver and other organ mets, when other chemo protocols are used when the first one fails.  

I suggest you visit the Johns Hopkins Online Pancreatic Cancer Support Board for further advice and support.  That board is much more active than this one and there is good knowledge and excellent support to be had there.

It's way too early for your wife to give up; stand there beside her and help her find a better doctor who believes she has more living to do and is willing to help her find the chemo that will allow her to do so.

Good luck.

Joan L

Hi Art,

I'm so sorry you and your wife are having to live this journey.  I just lost my 51 year old finace to PC.  Near the end, I was asking the same questions, unforunately no one can answer them.  In our case, the second round of treatment was failing and he opted for no more treatment and died 4 weeks later.  He really got too weak to travel to treatment and was just tired.  Hospice was a God send and I wish we could have gotten on sooner. You really do have to take one day at a time!  Each day is a blessing.

sincerely,

Lisa