advice please

Im new to this but here I go. My mom was dx with mm
in oct. 2008, and now not doing so good has been in and out of hospital a lot. They also dx her with AL to on top of mm her doc. is so frustrating suppost to be the best for this area. But she so sick her tells her one day she is in remission and the next she dying and wont tell use what stage shes in say thats not how its done. he never gives use a straight answer to any of our question, but she does not want to change docs at my wits end one min the pains so bad she wants to end all treatment and die next she wants to fight. Right now she is total care, its so hard to watch her go through this, but i cant not be there for her. Shes been on all kind of treatment for this and cant have stem cell done. I feel so hopeless. she has bad swelling through out her body and now has compresed virtabra. I dont how to help her or what i should do . please help

Hi, Rose 360

I am so sorry to hear about your mother's struggle with MM. Have you thought about getting a second opinion from a MM specialist? It sounds as if her dr. is not very sensitive to her (and your) needs. I would think another dr. might be able to help her more.

Also, just being there for your mother is so important! Try to be as positive as you can, and find out as much information on this website as you can. You need to be her voice with these drs. I know it must make her feel much better knowing that you are there to support her.

Good luck to you both!

Mary Ann

Good Evening Rose;

Her doc. is so frustrating supposed to be the best for this area. But she's so sick he tells her one day she is in remission and the next she is dying and won't tell us what stage shes in, says thats not how its done.

Sounds to me as though her present doctor is a real anus! Get out of the area and find yourself a MM specialist. You are entitled to know what stage she is in and also copies of all lab reports. Ask for them.

He never gives use a straight answer to any of our questions.

Has it occurred to you that perhaps he doesn't have an answer to your questions? Would you tolerate this type of behavior in any other business transaction?

But she does not want to change docs.

This might prove difficult. But you should be able to coax her to try one visit with a MM specialist.

Can't have stem cell done.

Please explain. 

I don't how to help her or what I should do.

Get her to another doctor. One who has some bedside manner!

Take care;

Kevin

From Anna,

Hi Rose, I agree with Mary Ann and K.C. she needs a 2nd opinion.  

Your friend,

Anna