Mark,
My sister must have had the same type MM as your wife. She was diagnosed in February, 2005, and she had the same treatments. They would work for a while, and then stop working. She told me that she had the most aggressive type. She was still getting chemo as late as last fall, but it stopped working completely. She decided then to stop the treatments and live as best she could.
Last winter, she could no longer leave the house. She slept a lot, but she could still have visits from her family, friends, and grandchildren. She was getting weaker and weaker, and by the end of February she was confined to bed and had Hospice. They kept her comfortable with drugs and oxygen. She passed away in April at the age of 60.
I know of two other people with MM. The first developed the disease when my sister did. He had the stem cell transplants and went into remission. He is doing fine. The other is my neighbor. He has had MM for a few years and works full time just taking meds.
Most people with my sister's type of MM live about 3 years. She always said she was on borrowed time once she passed the 3-year mark. She never really gave up but was prepared for death and welcomed it at the end.
Good luck and God bless both of you, whatever you decide. There is no easy decision.
Nancy J