My dad stage 4 colon cancer

My dad has stage 4 colon cancer.  He also has lung cancer, prostate cancer, and testicular cancer.  But it is the colon cancer that metastisized and is spreading rapidly now.  He has fluid build up that they can't relieve even with all the diuretics he is taking, and they can't get his potassium level up to normal anymore.  His liver function tests and kidney tests are all abnormal now...so I know he is in bad shape and this is probably the beginning of the end...but...My dad was planning for the future.  He was talking about trading his car in and getting a new car.  His cataracts got really bad, and he told the doctor he wanted surgery to remove them so he could read.  He was still positive and seemed happy and felt well.  His oncologist all but told him that it (the cataract surgery) wouldn't be worth it, that the CT scan he is having tomorrow will show really bad news.  I am so angry with this doctor.  He took my dad's hope away.  Since that visit, he feels sick and weak and won't eat. 

 I work from home, and I asked my my boss if I could take my work to my parents house if need be (they live about 3-1/2 hours from here), and it sounds like that won't be a problem.  I feel like I am planning on my dad dying soon, and I hate this.  I just don't feel ready (who does?). 

 

Thank you for listening.

 

Angie

 

I don't know...just really needed to vent to someone.

I am so sorry to hear how far things have gone with your dad.  I had a doctor tell my loved one that they had metastatic prostate cancer without even checking the prostate gland....only to find out that he has mulitple myeloma Stage III.

I am a nurse and there is so much that I see that grieves me for the families and patients.  If a person hopes for catarac surgery so that they can see to read, the doctors should wait until all test results are in before telling the patient that they are not a candidate. 

 I so appreciate this message board in that it is a place for those of us that are caring for our loved ones can vent.  God bless you as you head into this issue with your dad.  Anita

Your story breaks my heart. What many people don't understand is the importance of the little things during this time. It is also about having some sort of control over something during a time when everything is out of control.

Have you considered hospice care? I have started becoming introduced to it, and the philosophy of hospice is to increase quality of life. Not only for your dad, but for you as well.

It is great you can work and be there with your dad at the same time. It is a challenging balance. Hospice can help.

Good luck, I will be thinking of you and your dad.

I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I urge you to spend time with your father, even if that means leaving your family to go to your parents house and support him and your family. It will do you good to spend time while your still able to talk and enjoy your father.

You will be in my prayers. This is such a hard thing to go through, yet there are still moments that have been so special I would never change them and I am glad I am living with my father. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It breaks my heart that doctor would shake down your father's dreams. I took my mom to doctor last year and doctor told my mom she had a  stomach full of cancer. He did not run any test or anything. Turn to find out she had colon cancer. If he wants to turn the car in and get a new one let him. Eye surgery might be too much but doesn't hurt to keep hope alive. Tell him not to give up. Tell him to believe. My mom was doing good with her treatment for a year and half then she took a turn for the worst. She slowly recovering but she might not make it. Do i  tell her that? The answer is no. She still think she will be going on vacation next year, get the lg env touch, netbook, and leather couch. I do whatever to make the smile on my mom face stay.

 

On 7/1/2009 Angieb wrote:

My dad has stage 4 colon cancer.  He also has lung cancer, prostate cancer, and testicular cancer.  But it is the colon cancer that metastisized and is spreading rapidly now.  He has fluid build up that they can't relieve even with all the diuretics he is taking, and they can't get his potassium level up to normal anymore.  His liver function tests and kidney tests are all abnormal now...so I know he is in bad shape and this is probably the beginning of the end...but...My dad was planning for the future.  He was talking about trading his car in and getting a new car.  His cataracts got really bad, and he told the doctor he wanted surgery to remove them so he could read.  He was still positive and seemed happy and felt well.  His oncologist all but told him that it (the cataract surgery) wouldn't be worth it, that the CT scan he is having tomorrow will show really bad news.  I am so angry with this doctor.  He took my dad's hope away.  Since that visit, he feels sick and weak and won't eat. 

 I work from home, and I asked my my boss if I could take my work to my parents house if need be (they live about 3-1/2 hours from here), and it sounds like that won't be a problem.  I feel like I am planning on my dad dying soon, and I hate this.  I just don't feel ready (who does?). 

 

Thank you for listening.

 

Angie

 

I don't know...just really needed to vent to someone.

Hi Angie, I understand what you are going through. I’m a survivor and was a caregiver to my father who battled colon cancer as well. He beat it 5 times before passing away two years ago. Like your father, he stayed in high spirits and was always an inspiration to those around him. I know that it is hard for you to go through this and not know what to do. I felt the same way years ago as I searched for answers to help my father get better outside of the vague advice that the doctors gave. I started a blog, www.cincovidas.com, as a resource for fighters, survivors and caregivers. I understand the need to vent and understand exactly how to deal with this disease. Make sure that you take care of yourself as well. Just the stress alone can be draining. Please keep me posted on how everything is going. Love, strength and survival, Britta
 

HI Angie and every other child that is going through this.  I hope the best for you and your family's.  Does someone have a way to help me talk to my Dad about hospice, what he wants to accomplish still?  My Dad is not able to walk or do too much...Colon Cancer Stage4 still doing every treatment waiting for that miracle.

Hi Angie. I am so sorry to hear about your dad... I know how hard it is. My husband, (who is only 33!) has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.. it's spread to his liver. I am so at a loss... I totally related when you said you feel like you're planning for his death :( His startedabout a year ago and he was misdiagnosed from the get-go... they said he had diverticulitis (which is pretty much unheard of in a guy in his early thirties) and he has to undergo two rounds of strong antibiotics, pain, vomiting, etc.. until they FINALLY did a barium enema (they missed it on the two previous CT scans!). Thankfully, we were referred to an awesome surgeon who performed the colon resection, which was followed by 6 treatments "merely preventative!" of chemo... his first scan after the intial 6 treatments was clear and we were overjoyed... until he had his follow-up scan three months later. His oncologist (who is also great) looked like he wanted to cry he was so shocked at how fast it spread... So now here we are, and I have no idea how to handle this... as long as he's swallowing vicodin he's fine... but if he forgets and misses a dose he's in agony for hours, no sleep, violent vomiting, etc. Last friday he had his first round of Avastin and I am hoping and praying that it works... At any rate I feel helpless, angry, debilitated... I tell myself that we have to be prepared for anything, but I always end up feeling more pessimistic than anything and I'm trying so hard to be strong for him...

Please stay strong for your dad, and I'll stay strong for my hubby, and we'll get through it come hell or high water...