Me again...Advice sought!!

I forgot to mention in the last message that he has had additional evaluation at 3 major medical centers and they told him to do the Gemzar close to home so that he could be more comfortable.....

He is unable to drive, work, or even have a conversation.  I just wonder if I should take him to a family care physician-instead of an oncologist.. to get the truth about what is going on in his body.

Thanks again,

Roxie

Hi Roxie,

I have read both of your messages and then read them again.  You are in a very difficult situation.  I will give you my opinion.

 I believe your husband's oncologist has given you information about your husband's condition but he has done so in a very round-about way.  He has stopped treatment except for Gemzar, due to side effects.  Gemzar is basically palliative.  He has told you he will treat whatever conditions your husband suffers with but in fact he has not done so if your husband has belly and back pain, is always uncomfortable and has insomnia.  With all of these issues as well as increasing tumor markers, It must be clear to you that he will not be getting better.  He may not be in the last stages just yet but I believe he is very close if he is unable to drive or even hold a conversation.

I believe it would be in the best interests of both you and your spouse to call in hospice; they are wonderful with relieving pain.  Your husband should not have to be in pain.  They will also provide you with someone to talk with and to let you know what to expect.

I am so sorry that you and your husband are facing this and I hope you have family or friends to support you as you support your husband.

Joan L

SO SORRY to say....BUT I would also have to agree....it does NOT sound good. What about ANOTHER opinon? Not being told the truth of what maybe going on is not what you need right now.....Perhaps YOU yourself need to confront the oncologist about what is REALLY happening to your husband......AND what you should do. I think it is AWFUL they do NOT sound like their being honest.....I would hope that if this is all that could be done the DOCTOR WOULD recommend Hospice....they will make sure he does NOT have pain and they ARE wonderful support also for you and your family. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers....GOD BLESS.

                                      Sheila

yes contact hospice they are angels. get book 'FInal Gifts" and Final Journeys

But before that talk with second oncologist. one with more open style. clear communication.

I am not sure on the gemzar being pallative ( help symptoms only) bc my twin has had gemzar and xeloda for 8 cycles ( 7 months) and his stage IV PC has remained stable not bigger not smaller and marker ca19-9 went from 1188 to 250 to last week 148  so something is working, He has his hair etc. good luck, talk talk ask ask, demand.