Dad a little more lucid, how to cope

Dad is hanging in there. He just finished his 4th cycle of the saha / velcade clinical trial.  He gets his next mri 7/9 and then we see the dr 7/10.  He is still hallucinating animals (lions, monkeys, dinosaurs and rats) and people.  At first it was people we knew, family from out of town etc but now he's imagining strangers.  He was at dinner with a friend the other night and halfway through asked where the two girls went.  Our friend said they must have left so dad said that was rude after we took them to dinner.  Did they take the little boy with him because he's gone too.  We saw the psychiatrist last week and he said dad has delirium and to just go along with whatever he says.

He is physically still good, laying down more and more but I'm hoping that's because of the heat down here and he just doesn't want to sit outside and smoke in the sun. 

My issue is last week he started getting really emotional and it's continuing.  He was crying hysterically while watching a news story on Micheal Jackson dying, dad never cared for him or his music so I think it maybe hit a nerve that he was 50 and died and dad's in his 50's.  Dad couldn't explain to me why he was so upset.  He had three bowel and two urine incontenance issues last week and after pooping all over the living room floor and then commenting he didn't know he was doing it he started crying again.  I told him it was time for him to wear depends and he wore them for two days but now won't wear them. 

It's much easier dealing with this when dad doesn't show any emotion or acknowledge what's going on but it is so hard for me to watch him have these moments when he knows he's sick.  He's been making comments like make sure my granddaughter knows I was fat and the comments seem so final.

How do you handle that?  I try not to get emotional in front of him because then he just cries more but should I cry with him?  I hate this stupid disease and it seems like you research and prepare and then your handling things and the situation turns on you where there are completely other issues to handle.

Blessings to you all and have a safe and happy 4th!

Dad surgery 11/07 90% removed right frontal, proton therapy, 6 months temodar. recurrence 3/09 right and left frontal tumors and one near hypothalmic region. started velcade / saha clinical trial 4/09.

My heart really goes out to you.  And I don't know how to advise you.  Try to stay calm and in control.  Don't react to his outbursts, get some help so you'll have some time to rest, relax.  I don't find it helps me to cry, only makes me feel worse.  And maybe, if you don't cry, he won't cry.  Is there something he enjoys that you can distract him with?  TV?  Music?  Puppy dogs?  (Always works for me!)  M&Ms?  Massage?

 Have you considered a second opinion at one of the univerisity cancer centers?  They have lots of resources and may be able to provide more help.

I'm praying for you.

Thank you, at least I know it's not helpful for us to both be crying and upset and I'll keep on the happy face.  He has a group of close friends that he enjoys sitting with at Starbucks and sipping coffee so they have been coming in shifts to get him out of the bed and out of the house.  He doesn't have intrest in doing anything with my daughter and I, we invite but he won't come.  I'll check into the massages, we used to get them once a month together in the beginning of this journey but he slowly stopped doing anything with me and I'm so tired all the time (6 months pregnant) after getting him up, showered, fed, to appointments and medicine in him I don't have a lot of energy to do much else.  Your suggestions are very helpful though as there are small things he enjoys so we'll try to get those happening more often.

We're being seen at Mayo now which being in FL that's the best we've got.

Thanks for your response, it means a lot.

Happy 4th!