Dear Twwhiz,
First, I'll speak as a caregiver who has experience with both colon and prostate cancer.
My first husband was only 56 when he passed away from prostate cancer with EXTREMELY PAINFUL mets to the bone. Is your father in pain? If so, there are chemotherapies that can extend his life and, more importantly, IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF LIFE at the same time by controlling the pain. But this did not happen with my first husband, because of his unique health situation.
My first husband elected NOT TO FIGHT his prostate cancer despite the promise of pain relief, primarily because he was already pretty bad off with ALS, more commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease ... which is just as nasty as cancer and more lethal in that 98% of the victims pass within 2 to 5 years of diagnosis. In the end, the prostate cancer took him, though he had been bed-ridden and unable to move for about a year with ALS. As a wife and caregiver, I had to respect his wishes. I could understand his decision to decline the chemotherapy.
My new and second husband was recently diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer. The oncologist is cautiously optimistic, however, that he can live a long time with the chemo regimens coming online and already online and have a relatively good quality of life. As such, I have pushed to ensure my second husband gets the care he needs, when he needs it.
In other words, your father is a unique person. He might merely be afraid of chemo (not uncommon) and this can be resolved by education. Or he might feel that he's just not up to living in pain much longer (as in the case of my first husband). Or he just might be pleasantly surprised at all the survivors living with Stage IV colon cancer -- e.g., my cousin is a 17 year survivor of Stage IV colon cancer and my second husband just had his second PET/CT scan that showed no evidence of disease (NED), which means he's already beating the doctors' prediction of 3-6 months life expectancy ... all while gaining weight and looking better and doing more and more each day. He's enjoying his life, in other words.
So, much depends on the person and their situation, that is their willingness to fight, their ability to deal with what life has thrown their direction, age, fears, etc. Just tell your father all the good news stories, keep up his spirits, suggest that chemo might be a more viable option than he may think .... an option that will likely reduce the pain and prolong his life. Then be quiet, listen to his wishes, and then respect his wishes and just support him in a loving manner in whatever path he chooses. The bottom line is that your father is in charge of his own body and his own life, so you must respect his wishes whatever they may be.
Paula Jean