Doctors say its inoperable

Hello....I have an aunt that was diagnosed in December with stage IV breast cancer. It has spread to her bone, lymph nodes, and her lung. The doctors have told her that her tumor is inoperable. She is living with this tumor on her body...it has broken through the skin, which I didn't even know was possible. She has received radiation for the past few months and it has helped a little. She refuses chemo....because of the side effects and her negative attitude about her diagnosis. I guess what I am asking to whoever has any information is........ should she go get a second opinion?, should she go to an area that specializes in breast cancer? I know there is a great cancer center in Rochester, NY and others. (we live in NY state).

Is there any chance that she can prolong her life? I realize that her cancer isn't curable, but is there a chance that a doctor would operate on her? Or is the tumor too invasive and has to stay on her body? Is each doctor different with their prognosis and will going somewhere else make a difference for her? Right now she has only seen a couple doctors at our local hospital.

What other treatments may help her? What foods are good for her to eat? She hides her pain a lot so its hard to talk to her about this but I need to talk to someone who has experienced this or has helpful information that I can discuss with her.    Thank you very much for your time :)

I am sorry to hear about your aunt.  I have inflammatory breast cancer.  I had chemo first to reduce the size of the tumor, then had surgery to remove both breasts.  Now I am doing radiation.  My cancer was a stage IV.  Since doing chemo the tumor in my liver has disappeared.  Chemo was a great benefit.  I only got sick two evenings after the first treatment.  After the other 11 treatments I did great.  I was afraid of the side effects before I started but the benefit far outweighed not doing the chemo. 

Hi, I was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer at the end of September 2008. It was found in some lymphs, lung and the 2nd breast... The tumor was quite large and breaking through the skin, too. And, I was told it was inoperable. I was on weekly doses of taxol and herceptin -and- was on a clinical trial using Tykerb (lapatinib)... #1) I NEVER got sick from the chemo: I did not miss one day from work! #2) In May, no cancer found in any lymphs or lung -and- the tumor was down 50%. So, I had a double mastectomy 3 weeks ago and will be taking radiation later this summer. No more chemo for right now, although I will stay on Herceptin and possible chemo pills forever. OK, I admit that I lost my hair from the chemo (that's why they have wigs covered by insurance and baseball hats!) and occasionally I had some muscle aches. But trust me, I was able to function at 95% of how I normally do! I understand that my side affects were not as bad because they were giving me the same amount of chemo, but in a lower dose once a week vs. the mega dose every three weeks. Whatever, it worked and I did not miss a beat! I did get "kicked off" of the clinical trial because of the surgery and we are trying to get my insurance company to agree to pay for it. Anyhow, I intend on living at least another 20-30 years (I am 54)... So, I would say YES, there is hope. Tell your aunt she just needs to dig in and fight! As of last week, my oncologist told me that there was no traceable cancer in my body. She is not going to say cured, nor was she really willing to say remission yet. But, she, the folks with the clinical trial and the surgeons are all extremely encouraged that I am going to be around quite a while longer! Today, they are looking at Stage IV breast cancer as something that can be managed -and- treated as a chronic disease for a long time. But, they need to use every tool in their tool box... Good luck...

PLEASE tell her she NEEDS to take the chemo....IT CAN help her live for MANY years and they have medicine to help her from NOT getting sick.If its her hair please tell her it WILL grow back but UNTIL then she can be blonde one day, a red head another and have it short or long when ever. She needs to get POSTITIVE and FIND THE WILL TO LIVE....which she can do for ALONG TIME if she sets her mind to it. SHE IS NOT ALONE....many people on here ARE willing to help and listen.

                          Hugs Sheila