Caretaker for husband with 3rd stage lung cancer

My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer a year & a half ago He took chemo & radiation & the tumor did shrink but it came back around 6 months ago He is now taking Alimta He started with the regular dose but said it made him to sick so a few weeks ago he went back to the doctor & they said they would try to give him a lighter dose wich they did He is loosing so much weight He was 202 & is now down to 169 . He just does not want to eat I try to mention different foods & when he say's yes I make them but he winds out throwing them out I go grocery shopping & just stand there trying to figure out what he may eat. It is so hard watching him fade away that it brakes my heart I have a daughter & she is very good but she has a family & works & cares about her dad but does not really understand how hard it is I know my husband is the main one but it is hard for me & sometime I feel like I need help I try to take one day at a time but it is easier said then done Joan

I understand where you are coming from since I was also using the same drug and I recently do not want to eat but I had made the habit to eat every meal but selecting food is hard.  I am now off this drug and looking for new options in my care since it is not helping me.  I think that it is a rough journey and I am personally getting tired of seeing doctors but I am doing it for my kids.

Hi

I am in the same boat.  My husband was 230 and now 180.  He don't want to eat and it is hard.  I just remind him even if he isn't hungry he needs nutrition to fight.  He is doing better but he only found out Nov 08 so we have not made it to 1yr mark yet.  I do worry it will come back.  He is currently not taking any treatments.  We did the radiation 30 days and chemo even brain radiation for 10 days.  Hang in there.. it is hard.  Take some time for yourself too even a couple hours to get out.  I pray a lot and try hard to trust God to help us.  What type lung cancer does your husband have?  My hubby has small cell.  My kids are busy too and I don't think they get it really.

Take care and write me if you want too.

--Message edited by CancerCompass staff. For personal protection, email address removed. Consider private reply. Please review CancerCompass Member Guidelines at http://www.cancercompass.com/common/guidelines.html--

 

On 7/18/2009 kendraangel wrote:

Hi

I am in the same boat.  My husband was 230 and now 180.  He don't want to eat and it is hard.  I just remind him even if he isn't hungry he needs nutrition to fight.  He is doing better but he only found out Nov 08 so we have not made it to 1yr mark yet.  I do worry it will come back.  He is currently not taking any treatments.  We did the radiation 30 days and chemo even brain radiation for 10 days.  Hang in there.. it is hard.  Take some time for yourself too even a couple hours to get out.  I pray a lot and try hard to trust God to help us.  What type lung cancer does your husband have?  My hubby has small cell.  My kids are busy too and I don't think they get it really.

Take care and write me if you want too.

Exenkam@aol.com

 

Thanks for writting & caring It does help My husband has small cell cancer that you get from smoking I hope your husband's cancer stays in remission like my husband has for a year & a half. I don't think my daughter can accept how sick her dad is I looked at him this morning when he was asleep in bed & you can see his ribs He gets angry at me when I try to force him to eat. I did read on the web sight that a few people that had his condition stopped eating because your body knows it is the end I hope they are wrong Don't give up the fight every case is different My husband is 89 years old & smoked since he was 12  Take care & keep in touch Joan

 

On 7/18/2009 Spitfire76 wrote:

 

On 7/18/2009 kendraangel wrote:

Hi

I am in the same boat.  My husband was 230 and now 180.  He don't want to eat and it is hard.  I just remind him even if he isn't hungry he needs nutrition to fight.  He is doing better but he only found out Nov 08 so we have not made it to 1yr mark yet.  I do worry it will come back.  He is currently not taking any treatments.  We did the radiation 30 days and chemo even brain radiation for 10 days.  Hang in there.. it is hard.  Take some time for yourself too even a couple hours to get out.  I pray a lot and try hard to trust God to help us.  What type lung cancer does your husband have?  My hubby has small cell.  My kids are busy too and I don't think they get it really.

Take care and write me if you want too.

Exenkam@aol.com

 

Thanks for writting & caring It does help My husband has small cell cancer that you get from smoking I hope your husband's cancer stays in remission like my husband has for a year & a half. I don't think my daughter can accept how sick her dad is I looked at him this morning when he was asleep in bed & you can see his ribs He gets angry at me when I try to force him to eat. I did read on the web sight that a few people that had his condition stopped eating because your body knows it is the end I hope they are wrong Don't give up the fight every case is different My husband is 89 years old & smoked since he was 12  Take care & keep in touch Joan

I said my husband was 89 He is 80

 

My mom had small cell lung cancer.........went into remission with 1st round chemo, came back in the liver about 4 months later and did a trial with amrubicin which is a wonder drug as far as I am concerned.  Everything shrunk tremendously with amrubicin and she had very little side effects compared to the first round awful stuff.  She got pneumonia and had to miss one amrubicin treatment and was not able to take it for 2 more weeks because of pneumonia. We didn't know that she would be kicked out of the study for being 2 weeks late and were quite disappointed that no one told us. Anyway she was dropped from the study and did Topotecan which did nothing.  Then she did another trial of CBT-1 with Taxol which did nothing.  Anyway...I highly recommend the amrubicin trial but just make sure you know how long you can miss.  That drug is now on the fast track for FDA so it won't be long I don't think.  

As far as what my mother would eat for the last 3 months or so of her life: 

She loved bacon and I gave it to her anytime she wanted it. She liked Frosty's from Wendy's.  Snowcones.  Dried fruits squares intended for a baby in a Gerber package. Fig newtons.  from a Baked potato with sour cream and bacon bits.  Fake squeeze cheese out of a pressurized jar onto crackers.  Bean dip on tostitos and then heat under the toaster oven with some shredded cheese.  She drank things from a straw because it was easier to swallow.   She did not eat much of the above at one sitting, but she would eat more of those things than anything else.   Hope that helps.  

 

My dad was diagnosed with Non-small cell cancer in 07 with Stage III.  He went through Chemo and radiation and it was totoally gone.  6 months later he went to the doctors to see if they could remove the port from him.  They said before they did that they wanted to take tests to make sure there was nothing else there.  They found it did come back and also they found 16 lesions in his brain.  They immediately put him through radiation for his brain.  Then they recently found another tumor on his right lobe (which his original diagnoses was found on his left).  They said they saw infection in his brain and on his left lung, so they prescribed him amoxicillan for this "infection".  Since all this has started he has told them he has no taste and refuses to eat.  My stepmother has told the doctor he recently started drinking boost and the doctor said he could live off of boost if he wants. 

He has lost at the least 25 pounds in the past two weeks and when the doctor states this is ok, I have a problem with this.  To see my dad who used to be a strong fit man, go down this fast is hard to deal with.  Not to mention, with all the research I have been doing, he is now in Stage IV because it has spread to the right lobe and has grown another 1/2 centimeter since three weeks ago.  They have not told him and he thinks he is still in Stage three and he has infections.  I keep trying to tell him that his body needs food whether he can taste or not.  He cannot work anymore and that alone is killing him. 

I have been making phone calls to all these different doctors, oncologists, infectectous disease, and all these other doctors who do not seem to be talking to each other and am getting very frustrated.  He is starting to make comments about when he dies and this is killing me.  I don't know what to do and he is still so young and wants to fight but is just simply getting told to go get one procedure after another with no results just more question marks.

The sad thing is none of the doctors return my phone calls and I am waiting one more day and will be visiting these doctors in person to find out answers.  He has gone to all of them, meanwhile in between the timeframe of these tests and procedures, the tumors are growing and the left lung now has a 12.5 centimeter mass to which they cannot explain what that is and are not concerned about that right now.

I need some support or guidance as this is consuming me as I cannot sit here and watch this happen.  If the doctor would just say this is cureable or he is at the stage where chemo will buy him a little bit more time, then fine I can deal with that.  However; they are not stating anything to my dad.  I don't want my dad to give up this fight but with all this crap he has been through and noone explains the good, bad or the ugly is frustrating that I am afraid he will just give up.

Has anyone else had similiar problems?  I feel as if I have found more about what he has/is going through and have become more educated finding things out online vs the doctor explaining.

Can anyone relate?

 

 

On 7/18/2009 dcomputer wrote:

I understand where you are coming from since I was also using the same drug and I recently do not want to eat but I had made the habit to eat every meal but selecting food is hard.  I am now off this drug and looking for new options in my care since it is not helping me.  I think that it is a rough journey and I am personally getting tired of seeing doctors but I am doing it for my kids.

Sir I thought this may help you My husband started on a drug to help him have an apetite Has been taking it for a week He is hungry all the time now It is called (Megace ES 625 MG/5 ML Susp) It is expensive but with the insurance we have we pay $20.00 It has really helped If you have any questions E mail me ( --Message edited by CancerCompass staff. For personal protection, email address removed. Consider private reply. Please review CancerCompass Member Guidelines at http://www.cancercompass.com/common/guidelines.html-- ) Lots of luck Joan

My husband was diagnosed last Feb with stage 111B lung cancer, they thought he would not make it 3-6 months.  We are thankful to still have him, he has gone from 167 lbs to 136 and only eats every 3 days.  He was diagnosed with kidney cancer in May and they did cryobaltion surgery, he was paasing blood in his urine today and stay in bed and sleeps alot.  We have been approved for the drug Nexavar.  As his wife my heart is broken, my sons keep acting like they do not understand the severity of it all.  I wish you peace and comfort during your journey with your husband, I know how hard it is.  It is just as hard on the caregiver as the patient

 

TJY