onlynphilly,
First I'd like to say how sorry I am for what you are dealing with at this time. Pancreatic cancer is a terrible disease.
It seems unusual that your doc has sent you out to findyour own treatment; isn't that carrying "be your own advocate" a bit too far? Why isn't that his job, to seek out the best treatment for you? There are other treatment options available since no one protocol works for everyone.
You would be wise to go to one of the several outstanding pc treatment institutions in the US for a second opinion since your oncologist has abandoned you. Consider M. D. Anderson in Houston, Johns Hopkins in Baltimore or one of the best, Dr. Robert Fine @ Columbia in NYC. The docs at these hospitals have dedicated their lives to treating pc; it's all they do. They are life-affirming and they will not abandon you.
There is an excellent online pc support board maintained by Hopkins; there are both patients and caregivers who are willing to share their knowledge and support. You might visit and post your question there; I'm sure you will get multiple thoughtful responses from people who have been where you are.
Please consider the information I have given to you. After all, this is your life we are talking about.
Good luck and God speed.
Joan L