Hey Martha,
I hope you scroll through the messages on this message board. They have been a tremendous help to me as I help my husband during his stage IV cancer crisis. I have asked questions and asked for advice and everyone on this board, from caregivers to survivors have been very forthcoming. Today, my husband just went back to work on very light duty. But if you look at the initial prognosis, the doctors (not his oncologist) said he'd be dead by now. Ouch! But his oncologist, Dr. Sheinke, told him that many people have been living longer, more productive lives and that all life is eventually "terminal". In short, we could be hit by a meteor tomorrow while gardening in the backyard. Today, my currently remains "NED" which means "no evidence of disease". He is still on chemotherapy and other than a few challenges with his electolite levels (and black outs) he's doing OK. Mild neuropathy is all that is really bothering him at the moment, now that we've got the electrolite issue worked out. And his CEA rate is currently very low at .7 on the last CEA screening. My husband is a happy camper, taking one day at a time and remaining optimistic that his stage 4 cancer can be beaten. He has a great attitude and has never since learning he was stage 4 that this disease will beat him. I read somewhere that the mind is a great healer. If your mother gets down in the dumps, maybe read these survivor stories to her.
The biggest story I can relate - and have told over and over again here on this message board and to my husband and his family (particularly his adult children), especially during the earlier days of his stage IV cancer diagnosis, is that I have a cousin who was also diagnosed with terminal stage 4 colorectal cancer. My cousin was told to go home and get his affairs in order, as they only gave him a short time -- mere months -- to live. He didn't think he was dying at the time -- and I remember telling me that when I visited him in hospital -- but he got his affairs in order anyway. Sure he was bad off. He had several mets to his lungs, liver and eventually his tailbone, all which were dealt with via surgery and/or radiation and chemotherapy. He put up a long battle for nearly 4 years, and I believe a total of three surgeries, then all of a sudden, his PET and CT scans came back NED - no evidence of disease. And this has now been going on 17 years. The other day I was talking to my cousin on the telephone. Near the end of our conversation, he told me that he read the obituary of the doctor who told him he only had mere months to live. The doctor had lived a long life, died of a stroke. But my cousin, now age 66, has lived even longer than this doctor. While he is not one to gloat over other people's misfortunes and health challenges, he is a 17 year Stage IV colorectal survivor who saw irony in reading his old doctor's obituary.
Paula Jean