husband lost his battle

Well it's my turn. I am here to say that my husband of 30 years died   last Sunday night at a hospice. I am still numb and don't believe it. I don't feel that he is dead. I feel like he is in the hospital and will come home any day. It isn't only me, my children (13 & 19) feel the same way.

I don't know when it will hit us, all I know is we had the funeral and it didn't happen there or since . I am afraid.  So much has happened so quickly, one minute we were hoping his hypercalcemia level would come down, then after coming home he wasn't doing well so I called the ambulance had him transfer to his NYC hospital and found out the cancer had spread to his brain adrenal glans and many other places.There was nothing more to do. The Avastin was a complete waste of time. All the time he was on Avastin the cancer was spreading. Nothing he took seemed to work for him. He was on  Nexavar, Xeloda gemzar, Vitamin A trial, Sutent , Some other trial , Torisel and finally Avastin. he was dianosed in 2005 had his kidney removed in March 2006, Lession show up Jan. 2007. We tried to kill the beast since but to no avail. Danny was 56 years old

I always came here and would cry when  I read of someone losing the battle, and now I'm here writing of our loss. Thank You all for your kind response in the past, I will still lurk since I still feel your my family. love mutha

On 7/25/2009 mutha wrote:

Well it's my turn. I am here to say that my husband of 30 years died   last Sunday night at a hospice. I am still numb and don't believe it. I don't feel that he is dead. I feel like he is in the hospital and will come home any day. It isn't only me, my children (13 & 19) feel the same way.

I don't know when it will hit us, all I know is we had the funeral and it didn't happen there or since . I am afraid.  So much has happened so quickly, one minute we were hoping his hypercalcemia level would come down, then after coming home he wasn't doing well so I called the ambulance had him transfer to his NYC hospital and found out the cancer had spread to his brain adrenal glans and many other places.There was nothing more to do. The Avastin was a complete waste of time. All the time he was on Avastin the cancer was spreading. Nothing he took seemed to work for him. He was on  Nexavar, Xeloda gemzar, Vitamin A trial, Sutent , Some other trial , Torisel and finally Avastin. he was dianosed in 2005 had his kidney removed in March 2006, Lession show up Jan. 2007. We tried to kill the beast since but to no avail. Danny was 56 years old

I always came here and would cry when  I read of someone losing the battle, and now I'm here writing of our loss. Thank You all for your kind response in the past, I will still lurk since I still feel your my family. love mutha

I am an 18 month stage 2 rcc survivor.  I am profoundly sorry for your and your childrens' loss.  I pray that God will bring you comfort and peace, knowing that you loved one another and he died knowing that. 

My husband of 10 years was so fearful when I was diagnosed, so I know first-hand the fear that grips a spouse, and I think that it is nice that you will "lurk" on the site, and hopefully, over time, gain strength and be able to give more of your strength out to those in similar pain.

 Please take be kind to yourselves at this time, and know that God is watching over you. 

 Sincerely,

Margaret

My husband is also loosing his battle with cancer.  It's only been since October, however, treatment is not working as well as we had hoped and he may only have a few more months.  Sometime its hard but I tell my husband and children that he is not dying he is just leaving his human form and moving onto another live.  One of happiness and peace.  He will always be apart of our family just in a different way.  I tell him is going to be our guardian angel to watch over us and help us in times of need. 

I pray that you and your family find comfort in knowing that your husband is at peace.

kzfamily

My heart aches for you and your children.  I hope that, as time goes by, you will have your anguish replaced by happy memories and that cancer won't be the thought that pervades your mind. 

All of us who enter this site know that we, or our loved ones, could succumb to this at some point.  My husband is still going and for that, I am grateful today. But, I still feel hurt for you.

Please know that across this internet site there are people who wish you well.

God bless you as you walk this journey.

Wynette

I too lost my husband to this awful disease on April 12.  My heart goes out to you and your family.  My two girls (ages 23 & 24) are doing well considering.  My husband was a 12 year survivor....and then a year ago April, he began having back pain.  In the end... he had compression fractures all up and down his spine.  He went thru treatments of both Sutent & Torisel.  My husband had lost a lung 5 years ago.... I feel Sutent took his only lung.  After severe side effects of mouth sores and nausea he began having breathing problems.  He spent from Nov - April on 100 percent oxygen.  He spent a month in the hospital in November when his lung quit working (cancer was ruled out). Sutent was quit at that time as the side effects were killing him.   In January he began Torisel treatments to no avail.  He had minimal side effects however, nothing was stopping the growth of the tumors in his spine. We lost Randy on Easter Sunday.  It was a blessing in the end and we believe the good Lord has special plans for a very special man.

 No human being should have to go thru all the pain & sickness that man or any other kidney cancer patient goes thru.  God Bless everyone who must endure this horrible disease.

 Take you life one day at a time.  I still enjoy doing the things Randy & I did.  I feel closest to him on those days.  Spend time w/ family & friends and it is OK to spend time by yourself...as long as that isn't all you let yourself do. 

God Bless you.

My thoughts are with your family.

On 7/25/2009 mutha wrote:

Well it's my turn. I am here to say that my husband of 30 years died   last Sunday night at a hospice. I am still numb and don't believe it. I don't feel that he is dead. I feel like he is in the hospital and will come home any day. It isn't only me, my children (13 & 19) feel the same way.

I don't know when it will hit us, all I know is we had the funeral and it didn't happen there or since . I am afraid.  So much has happened so quickly, one minute we were hoping his hypercalcemia level would come down, then after coming home he wasn't doing well so I called the ambulance had him transfer to his NYC hospital and found out the cancer had spread to his brain adrenal glans and many other places.There was nothing more to do. The Avastin was a complete waste of time. All the time he was on Avastin the cancer was spreading. Nothing he took seemed to work for him. He was on  Nexavar, Xeloda gemzar, Vitamin A trial, Sutent , Some other trial , Torisel and finally Avastin. he was dianosed in 2005 had his kidney removed in March 2006, Lession show up Jan. 2007. We tried to kill the beast since but to no avail. Danny was 56 years old

I always came here and would cry when  I read of someone losing the battle, and now I'm here writing of our loss. Thank You all for your kind response in the past, I will still lurk since I still feel your my family. love mutha

First by letting say I'm sorry that you lost your husband. I'm in the same boat, my mom was diagonosed with RCC Stage 4 in November and she did fairly well until March when we noticed she was having problems with her balance and her right hand well we took her to the hospital the end of March well it spread to her brain and one problem after another well she passed away May 2, and I still feel that she will come home and be free of this horrible disease and I cry everyday because I miss her so very much, and you will be okay I know it's hard now because I'm still living the pain but may god bless all of you.

On 7/25/2009 mutha wrote:

Well it's my turn. I am here to say that my husband of 30 years died   last Sunday night at a hospice. I am still numb and don't believe it. I don't feel that he is dead. I feel like he is in the hospital and will come home any day. It isn't only me, my children (13 & 19) feel the same way.

I don't know when it will hit us, all I know is we had the funeral and it didn't happen there or since . I am afraid.  So much has happened so quickly, one minute we were hoping his hypercalcemia level would come down, then after coming home he wasn't doing well so I called the ambulance had him transfer to his NYC hospital and found out the cancer had spread to his brain adrenal glans and many other places.There was nothing more to do. The Avastin was a complete waste of time. All the time he was on Avastin the cancer was spreading. Nothing he took seemed to work for him. He was on  Nexavar, Xeloda gemzar, Vitamin A trial, Sutent , Some other trial , Torisel and finally Avastin. he was dianosed in 2005 had his kidney removed in March 2006, Lession show up Jan. 2007. We tried to kill the beast since but to no avail. Danny was 56 years old

I always came here and would cry when  I read of someone losing the battle, and now I'm here writing of our loss. Thank You all for your kind response in the past, I will still lurk since I still feel your my family. love mutha

When I read this post, I couldn't help but think of my life.  You see, my husband is living with stage lV kidney cancer and we have tried it all.  Sutent, Nexavar, Torsiel, Afinitor, and now he's on Avastin and Interferon.  He has cancer all up and down his spine, lungs, hips and he keeps going.  He has been in more pain than I think one human being could take.  He had his kidney remove, 10 days later a spinal fusion.  Open heart surgery from a heart attack and he keeps going.  However, I can see he's getting weak.  I can see the worry in the doctors eyes now.  The doctor has even told me, he would continue to come down.  He has never given him a "Time."  I don't want to ask.  I/We try to enjoy each day with each other and our two sons 24 and 22.  We are just praying for healing and peace.

Aycockfamily