treatment and emotions

Hello, my husband was diagnosed with stage iv adenocarcinoma of the espohagus June 11, 2009. It had spread to his liver and thoracic and lumbar bones by the time they had found it. He had progressive symptoms the previous week, but other than that, had no clue anything was wrong. The doctors recommended targeted radiation to the tumor and chemo for the spread. Chemo was started 3 days after radiation began. He has had many complications and been in the hospital since June 21. He had a feeding tube inserted and has not had anything substantial to eat since his diagnosis. His biggest problem has been pain and nausea. It has been relentless. He is improving now but mentally, he isn't doing well. I am at a loss as to how to help him. I wish he could talk to someone who is going or has gone through this. He is very depressed and refuses anti depressant medication. We try to encourage him and try to get him to walk and do things. He does have his good moments, but lately, the sadness is overwhelming. Thank you to anyone who can help us here.

I am very sorry to meet you under these circumstances. This cancer can be very difficult to deal with and you go through a vast majority of emotions. I had to see help by talking to a social worker, once a week and joining a group of cancer patients. Please ask his doctors to recommend a support group or someone who can have a one on one counseling with him. This can be very hard to deal with, but all you can do is be supportive and as understanding as you can be. I hope you can find a support group, I know here in Canada through our Cancer Centre, you can get connected to someone who has been or is going through what you are and it does help by talking to someone who truly understands who has been or is where you are or have been. I hope things work out for you and please keep us posted.

Take Care and Be Positive

Evelyn

Your situation sounds similar to mine.  My husband Jim was diagnosed June 4, 2009.    I definately know what you are going through.  He too had no symptoms except for swallowing problems.  He was misdiagnosed with achalasia and when they went in to do the hellers myotomy surgery, they found cancer.  Immediately you are hit with a brick, then comes shock, and then you are put on the roller coaster from hell.  At first, we sat there stunned, then my husband became very depressed.  After about three days of this, I went to him (age 48) and said we don't have time to feel sorry for ourselves!  Either we can attack this beast with all the strength we both have or you can feel sorry for yourself and if that is the case, are you going to be happy if the end comes and you look back and wonder....I should have, I could have, and have many regrets.  He thought about it for a minute and then he snapped out of it and was ready for the fight.  He is stage IV adenocarcinoma, no surgery candidate.  He is on Carboplatin/taxol for chemo and tomotherapy for radiation.  Chemo is every monday for three weeks, then one week off.  Radiation is everyday.  Chemo for 6 months, radiation for 28 tratments.  Yes, you have ups and downs.  But don't be afraid to jump right in.  Yesterday the radiation doctor told my husband he is their best patient and that everything is looking good.  He said that many patients ignore the tube because it has become a bother.  Not us.  I immediately called the dietician and asked for a portable pump.  It's only about 6 inches and a velcroed it into a Nike backpack so he is mobile.  He goes to work everyday with it and this last week has begun to eat soft foods by mouth too.  The good thing about the tube is knowing they are getting enough nutrition which is key to win the battle.  If he has diarrea, I pop 2 crushed immodium through the tube.  If constipation, we put in benefiber.  We have controlled everything and now he isn't having any problems.  Please feel free to contact me at any time.  We also requested ativan while receiving chemo.  They gave us a prescription for home as well.  Ativan has been a life saver.  It has totally relaxed him, lesened the anxiety and the nausea.  I hope this helps. 

Sherri

On 7/28/2009 the5ofus wrote:

Hello, my husband was diagnosed with stage iv adenocarcinoma of the espohagus June 11, 2009. It had spread to his liver and thoracic and lumbar bones by the time they had found it. He had progressive symptoms the previous week, but other than that, had no clue anything was wrong. The doctors recommended targeted radiation to the tumor and chemo for the spread. Chemo was started 3 days after radiation began. He has had many complications and been in the hospital since June 21. He had a feeding tube inserted and has not had anything substantial to eat since his diagnosis. His biggest problem has been pain and nausea. It has been relentless. He is improving now but mentally, he isn't doing well. I am at a loss as to how to help him. I wish he could talk to someone who is going or has gone through this. He is very depressed and refuses anti depressant medication. We try to encourage him and try to get him to walk and do things. He does have his good moments, but lately, the sadness is overwhelming. Thank you to anyone who can help us here.

 

Thank you for your reply. I was going to ask his Oncologist if he knew of another patient with the same cancer who could talk to my husband. We have an awesome social worker here too, so I'll pursue that. Interesting that you are from Canada. My husband is from Saskatoon and we lived in Calgary for a while. We are in Louisiana now. Thank you again.

This was a response to Evelyn. I'm not as computer literate as my children.

On 7/29/2009 the5ofus wrote:

Thank you for your reply. I was going to ask his Oncologist if he knew of another patient with the same cancer who could talk to my husband. We have an awesome social worker here too, so I'll pursue that. Interesting that you are from Canada. My husband is from Saskatoon and we lived in Calgary for a while. We are in Louisiana now. Thank you again.

 

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through.  My husband was diagnosed in Dec and began chemo and radiation immediately.  He had his surgery May 13 and his first post surgery CT scan done this week showed no sign of mets.  Tell your husband that it's a long journey but it's worth it.  My husband returned to work full time this week and aside from the small portions he now eats, there's hardly any signs of his illness.  I hope you can find a support group for your husband but in the meantime, you'll have to be his support.  This message board has been an incredible help for me, not only in answering my questions but, in helping me through all the trials and tribulations.  Some of the things that I did that helped my husband are getting him an electric blanket, foot warmers (from Bed Bath and Beyond), anti-nausea wrist bands, dental wax for the mouth sores during chemo.  My husband said that when he had no energy, that's when he was at an emotional low but, once his energy came back, so did his spirits.  He said that if your husband can make it through this period, life will improve.  Don't wait for your husband to post questions or to ask you to post questions, just post them on your own.  I did and my husband now agrees that this message board is very helpful.  In fact, my husband is now posting on here himself.  Keep your spirits up and take care of yourself as your husband will need you more than ever now. 

 Best,

Helene