End stage

I lost my dad on 07/08/09 at 7:15pm.  My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer about 19 months before he passed away.  He also had advanced COPD, so even if his lung cancer could have been cured, the COPD would have eventually ran its course.  My dad went through several rounds of chemo and we found a brain tumor in April that was removed successfully without any major issues.  WIthin 5 days of coming back from surgery, he was walking by himself to the cafeteria at the cancer treatment center.  My dad was released to hospice June 1st.  He continued to drive his truck and caryy his oxygen around until he had a bad breathing bout on Sunday June 28th.  He was admitted to th hospital with what doctors thought was pnemonia.  It turned out to be just the complications of the lung cancer and COPD.  He was coughing up blood and starting to have trouble breathing making it from the bed to the bathroom.  Was released on Thursday July 2nd.  My husband and I made funeral arrangements that Friday.  Saturday we brought all kids, grandkids and great grand baby to see him while he was still doing well.  Sunday went to stay with him and slept next to him.  (That was nice!!)  Monday woke up with a terrbile bout again and called hospice paramedics.  Thought we would lose him that day, but he hung on until all of the family could make it.  He was in and out from Monday till Wednesday and was very weak, but still acknowledged everyone.  Stepped out of his room for a bit and he was gone.  It was very hard to see him not being able to breathe, but was so glad we had a wonderful hospice group and family there to see him through into the Lord's hands.  My daddy often didn't think he had lung cancer or blamed it on the doctors for not finding it in time.  I just told him that God knew from the beginning of time when it was my dad's time to be gone from this earth.  It is so hard.  My dad was only 66 years old and wanted very much to live.  He was a cantankerous man and would drive me crazy at times, but oh what I would give to have him back healthy!!  We miss him terribly.  I look at pictures and the DVD the funeral home put together almost daily!!  All of you that are struggling with the loss of a loved one with lung cancer, you are in my prayers.

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my mom to lung cancer on June 14, 2008 and it still hurts a lot.  I am glad hospice was a help to your family as it also was to mine.  Some days, it seems like it was only a week ago that she died, and on other days it seems like years.  She still sends me signs that she is around....ask your dad for one and he will send it.....I can promise that.  Just keep your eyes and heart wide open to see it.   Know that when the lights flicker, it is him saying hello and he loves you.  And of course when you see a penny heads up, that is for you and only you from your dad.  Those will be the most obvious ones but there are a lot of other ones too.  My son's favorite toy that he used to play with his Grammy went off in the middle of the night on Christmas eve for no reason (no one had played with it for a while and the batteries were still good).  She always spent Christmas eve in my son's room.....and I know that was her.  Even my seven year old Jack said to me when I went in his room at 4AM that Grammy was saying  Merry Christmas. 

There are going to be a lot of days coming up where you will wish you could be transported back to the last few weeks even as painful as they were.  It will be hard to get back to a normal schedule.  I found that I didn't know what to do with myself since I had spent so much time providing care, talking on the phone to hospice, drs and family members.  All of a sudden I had free time and I didn't know what to do.  That was probably one of the toughest things actually.  So much time to sit and think and grieve.  There were days I didn't cry at all. And days where I just wanted to cry all day long.  I still haven't gone through all her things which are in a storage place.  Just remember that all that you are feeling is normal at this point.  But do know that if and when you need to reach out for help, it is all around you.  Some days my friends were more helpful than my husband. Some days a total stranger was more helpful. There were many days when I would stand in line at a bank or a store and have tears rolling down my face and someone would ask if I was okay. And I would tell them what had happened. That hug at that moment from a total stranger was all I needed. 

Take care of yourself.  This is tough stuff. 

Laura

My heart and thoughts go out to you, it's not easy losing a parent, especially after you have have watched them battle and struggle to survive. I have lost both my parents, my father to lung cancer and my mother to heart disease.

I am currently in Stage IV lung cancer and I believe I am in God's hands and he will take me when he is ready for me to come home. I have loved God since I was a child and I have learned throughout my life to trust him, albeit sometimes that was easier than others. There are no words to express what I think your father felt about having the comfort and presence of his family with him through this battle. This is a horrible and cruel disease and no one should have to go through it alone. For your father to have experienced your love, committment and presence during his illness was the greatest gift you could give him. May God give you a peace in your heart that comes only from him. I will remember you and your family in my prayers. 

I appreciate your response about losing my father.  I will keep you in my prayers as this is a cruel disease.  May God give you peace and comfort you through this and may you have a knowing presence as He is with you through all you are going through.  Sometimes God uses things such as cancer or other things to draw us closer to Him and we don't understand why.  But He did say that He would never leave us or forsake us.  Thank you so much.  Your message has helped me greatly.