my one and only

can any one tell me how to live without your love of your life i helped and watched my huband for a year we have been together for 23 years he was 49 years young i am 40 we have 3 kids i miss him more then anything he has been gone for 2 months now and a month after him i lost my mother inlaw i cant get passed leting him go at times it seems if i face it i will go crazy i need to move out of the house we worked so hard for i cant do it on my own  i cant see how any one makes it in life with this kind of pain

Johns Hopkins Pancreatic Cancer message board has a bereavement section that might be of help.  A lot of people post there.  Just google it and you should find it easily.

The John Hopkins breavement board has been a godsend for me. You will find many compassionate people there who know first hand the pain and turmoil that you are experiencing. I wish you peace on this journey.

Hello,

In April my family lost my father to PC.  My parents were married for 45 yrs.  I am still in shock, my mother is slowing getting back to part time work and we talk often and daily.  I suggest reading "90 minutes in Heaven" I did. It was good to hear of Heaven and the wonderfulness of it.  Also, I have checked out books from the local library on grieving, some help.  I pray a lot, and try to focus on the strength my dad had during his terminal illness.  Talking about the time spent together is helpful.   I am sorry for your loss, just remember everyone dies sooner or later, it's not how one died buy how one lived. 

And tell yourself that you will not get over this BUT you will get through it.

I hope this helps some.

God Bless

Renee

On 7/30/2009 miss melissa wrote:

can any one tell me how to live without your love of your life i helped and watched my huband for a year we have been together for 23 years he was 49 years young i am 40 we have 3 kids i miss him more then anything he has been gone for 2 months now and a month after him i lost my mother inlaw i cant get passed leting him go at times it seems if i face it i will go crazy i need to move out of the house we worked so hard for i cant do it on my own  i cant see how any one makes it in life with this kind of pain

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, 23 years is a long time to be with someone, I have not lost a husband, but I have lost a father to cancer and now 23 years later I'm losing my mother to this demon, Grief in the heart is hard to deal with, you must take it one day at a time, The Lord has blessed you with 3 children that need you more then ever, step back and look at what your children have lost, a father can never be replaced, I know you love your husband, but husbands over time can be replaced, you might not ever find the kind of love you and your husband had, but one day when your ready God will send you someone to love and take care of you, I'm sure your husband would not want you to be grieving with all this pain, he needs to know that you are alright with his passing, so he can move on. I don't have all the answers and my heart goes out to you and your children, Please do not sell your house anytime soon, that is the first mistake someone does after they lose the love of their life. As each passing day it will become clearer to you. Your children have lost a father and grandmother within months, to be up rooted out of their home would be even a bigger loss for them, As adults we can handle change, children can not. I speak to you with how it was for my mother when she lost my Dad, she was 44 when my Dad died at the age of 49, My little brother and sister where still living at home, he was the love of her life and they had been married for 28 years, she could not bear the house or any reminders of their life together the pain was to great, she sold the house within a year from his death, and after time said it was a big mistake and lots of regret for doing so. Your husband died knowing you and your kids had a roof over your head and he knows your a strong woman, I know your house is full of sadness, but it's up to you to take control of these tears and bring the sunshine back in for the kids sake, Your children need you, just as much as you need them. Hold on tight, it's not going to be easy, no one ever said life was easy or fair, you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, time is on your side and time heals, it might take a lot of time to get over this, but you will survive this, know that you have people that are here for you, take the advise from the other post and contact these people, you need someone to talk too. Get mad, get it out of your system so you can move on...I will be praying for you and your children, God be with you!

I too lost the love of my life 2 years ago to pancreatic cancer.  He was 47 years old and we were married for 25 years.  My husband lost his battle 6 months and 1 day after surgery. I still miss him everyday and I still think of all the wonderful times we had,

  The first year is the hardest time to get thru, but you will.  Every time I took a shower I cried. Every time I heard certain music I cried. The nights were the hardest because you let your guard down and all of the emotions come through.  I don't think I slept more than 3 hrs every night for that first year.  But I have good friends and wonderful family to help me.  We talk about my husband all the time and that really helps, just knowing so many people loved him. Let your children see you cry. Talk about your loved one with them. They need to hear it.  Ask for help if you need to.  And don't give up. Remember you had 23 years together, with all the memories that went with them.    BJ