it's not an easy decision to make...the surgery is not easy and i often wonder if i would have been better off not having it.
i was dx last year with stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma. i was treated at memorial sloan kettering. i was offered the opportunity to take part in a study which gave me the most advanced chemo and radiation treatments available at the time. treatments were very tough, but i tolerated it well and when all was said and done, my scan and biopsy both came back negative for any live cancer cells. i was overjoyed! i thought, this meant i didn't need surgery! however, after talking to my surgeon, i was told i had a 45% chance of still having microscopic cells which could not be detected without surgery. she told me, this would be my last chance at a 100% cure. even then, it was not easy for me to decide to have it...it is a very big surgery and it is life changing. my oncologist recommended i have it, but he also left it up to me, as there are people out there who took part in the same study as me and have proven remission past the 5 year mark. however, due to my young age and good health, other than cancer, i was told i was the perfect candidate for surgery and i would be foolish not to have it. needless to say, i decided to go for it! i am now 11 mos. post surgery and although i am not 100% i am cancer free and i know it. i have my next scan at the end of August, but my dr.s are very confident all is well with me.
i would like to add that surgery proved my treatments were a success...no live cancer cells were found at surgery, so it turns out i really didn't need to have it afterall. however, i am not sure how i would be right now if i didn't have it. i know i would be feeling more like my old self, but would i be a basket case, not knowing for sure that i have no cancer inside of me?? i do not know! i can say i would probably be because i know i am very nervous about every routine test i have regardless of how cofident my dr.s are, and yet, i cannot say for sure if that would be the case...
it's hard and there are times i do regret having it! but, then i have to thank God that i am here with for my children and with my family and not look back.
i wish you well, which ever way you choose.
stay positive and God bless!
-Stacey