I lost my husbad at 45

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I lost my husbad at 45

by chriskev on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:00 AM

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I lost my husband to cancer at age 45 i am now a widow with 3 children and i find it hard to get through the day and to be strong for them i know i have to be but it is so hard is there anyone who knows where i miht be able to find help i live with somuch guilt i know i could have done more to help him i thought we had more time i thought that we would have plenty of tomorrows and i was wrong..on top of al i amgoing through my job is even giving me a hard time i feel as though they want me to quit they just wont fire me because they feel bad

RE: I lost my husbad at 45

by 2caret on Mon Aug 10, 2009 12:00 AM

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ChrisKev, I am deeply sorry for your loss. My hubby is 45 and was diagnosed 20 mo ago. We also have 3 children and I dont know what I will do if I lose him. his prognosis is not good. Just know you are not alone and your kids will keep you going. Make sure you take time for yourself so you can be there for them when they need you. Again, my condolences. Anytime you want to chat let me know.

RE: I lost my husbad at 45

by neenjeanne on Thu Sep 24, 2009 12:00 AM

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On 8/7/2009 chriskev wrote:

I lost my husband to cancer at age 45 i am now a widow with 3 children and i find it hard to get through the day and to be strong for them i know i have to be but it is so hard is there anyone who knows where i miht be able to find help i live with somuch guilt i know i could have done more to help him i thought we had more time i thought that we would have plenty of tomorrows and i was wrong..on top of al i amgoing through my job is even giving me a hard time i feel as though they want me to quit they just wont fire me because they feel bad

ChrisKev - No matter what you did or did not do, it is not your fault and you could not have changed the outcome for your husband's illness. You need to let that go. He is in a better place. You are here and your children need you to be strong, not carrying around extra baggage of undeserved guilt you and you alone put on yourself. You have nothing to be guilty for! You were carrying a very heavy burden by yourself and no one blames you for being human. I know it is difficult, but you sound very stressed and this does not give a good impression at work that you can handle your job. You must pull yourself together. I know that sounds harsh, but as you pull yourself together slowly, everyday doing one more of the fun things youused to do with your kids, or friends at work, you will get a positive response and that will give you more positive energy to have one more enjoyable moment with your kids the next day etc etc. Very slowly, you might find you begin to feel a little better. I truly hope so. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Jeanne
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