It is such a horrible shock to learn someone you love is afflicted with this horrible disease. When I first learned that my husband has stage IV kidney cancer with mets to the lungs and the lymph nodes in the chest, I just totally freaked out. A few months later we found out that it had also spread to his brain. There was just one small brain tumor, but Dave is very intelligent and was so scared when he got the news. His whole personality is built around using his mind, in his work, in his witty sense of humor, etc....so finding out the cancer had spread to his brain was his worst nightmare. Like I said, the initial reaction is just total shock and disbelief and helplessness. But after it sinks in a little, you can take a step back and say, okay, what can we do about this?
For Dave, we chose stereotactic radiosurgery (similar to the Gamma Knife procedure) to zap the brain tumor. He had this done about 6 months ago, and subsequent CT scans have shown that the tumor is shrinking and is inactive. The procedure was very effective, and although it took an entire day, it really wasn't painful for Dave. So...my point is that even though this is the most horrible news, there are treatments for it. Don't panic. Get all the information you can get, and try to make the best decisions for the circumstances. It may not be totally hopeless, or at least, not yet.
I hope that helps,
Nancy