My mom age 70

My mom at age 70 will be 71 in a few months has been diagnosed with Stage 3B colon cancer.  My question and as horrible as it sounds is.........Would you do chemo at age 70?  I am definitely not giving up and encourage her everyday to keep on going.  Depression at the moment has the best of her.  We met with the oncologist yesterday and she got all the info, talk about draining.  Struggling to find the right advice to give to her. 

Hi there,

Of course much depends on your Mum, her attitude, her overall health, and how she wishes to proceed.  Like your Mum, I'm old too. And after helping my husband through his chemotherapy for colon cancer, if I were in her shoes, I'd take the chemotherapy WITHOUT HESITATION.  Sure like me, she's a bit older, but she's also of the generation (like me) who has witnessed the nasty side effects MUCH OLDER chemotherapy regimens. 

But chemotherapy is no longer the blunt instrument it used to be.  It is tolerable for most people. 

Case in point -- my husband, who is Stage IV, is now wrapping up his first four months of chemo (Avastin, Oxyplatian and oral Xeloda). Since starting his chemo in April, he's done very well ... that is, once he got used to how he felt and learned to anticipate the peaks and valleys.  Once he got to know the peaks and valleys of his therapy (i.e., he's typically drained for a few days after the chemo then he picks up to almost normal) he's been able to return to near normal daily activities like fixing his car, returning to work on light duty, puttering around his workshop, etc. And he's a supposidly incurrable Stage IV who was supposed to die about now if we had listened to the doctors.  Hardly, he's gaining weight and is currently NED with a very low CEA rate. 

More importantly, he's not Stage IIIb (like your Mum) which is considered curable.  Moreover, given that 30% of Stage IV patients diagnosed today can expect to live beyond five years, it means if your Mum is up to it, meaning she wants to fight her cancer and do what needs to be done and take the chemo given to her, then she's got much higher odds than my husband -- who, by the way, is currently doing well and now entering his first chemo brake after his next drip and planning a couple of short trips to see friends and family in celebration. 

Finally, each person undergoing cancer treatments are different. Much depends upon one's "can do it, can win this battle" attitude.  If your Mum's heart is not into the battle (my father at age 72 gave up and died from another disease) there is not much you can do about it. 

But, on the other hand, perhaps you can share with her the survivor stories on this and other message boards, and help convince her that chemotherapy is not as bad as she likely thinks it is.  Sure, any chemo is not a cake walk -- my husband will be the first to admit that, as I'm sure other survivors will tell you -- but neither it is abject torture either.  There are ways and methods to help patients with chemotherapy and its side effects.  Also, there is everyone on this board who can offer what they have learned.  Indeed, I must thank the fellow who suggested in an earlier post on about how to mitigate neuropathy. Thanks to his post, we implemented his suggestions very early on in my husband's chemo journey - and we've since implemented more -- and as such, his hand/foot/mouth issues have been tolerable for the first week after his drip, then in the second week, nearly non-existant to the point that he eats ice cream.  So, please ask your Mum to reconsider ... describe to her these posts and even print them off and share them with her ... and then encourage her.  If after you have informed her fully -- been an advocate in finding the right advice -- and she still declines to fight her battle against her cancer, you must respect her wishes ... just as many years ago, I had to respect my Dad's wishes.  

Paula Jean 

Thank you so much for your reply.  Her attitude is what I am most concerned about.  One minute she is making plans for 10years from now the next is her saying she only has 2years if that.  She is an emotional roller coaster.  I know she just recently got diagnosed and she has had all this information given to her, but if she still thinks this when she starts her chemo at the end of the month, all those nasty side effects will be the ones she experiences.  I am a true believer of what you believe and think is what will happen.  Thoughts are a powerful tool.

I appreciate your words and I pray for not just your husband but for you as well. 

Hi Youngest,

I think that your mother should absolutely start chemo if she has no other health issues.  There are a lot of choices she could make.  Should could opt for Xeloda which is a pill that she would take for two weeks and then she would get a week off.  If she is going to go for an IV chemo, she should get a port placed on her right chest.  It makes chemo so much easier and it isn't as bad as it sounds. It is minor day surgery to put it in.  With IV chemo she could choose to 5-FU with Leucovorin or her doc make pull out one of the heavier guns like Oxaliplatin or Irinotecan.  If she gets one of these drugs and it causes her bad side effects, she can ask for medicines to counteract them or ask for a dose reduction or stop it altogether. 

If your mother chooses to forgo chemo then she can do some natural things like improving her diet (eliminating processed meats, reducing fried foods, etc.) , exercising daily, taking aspirin (clear this with her doc), etc. These things will reduce her risk of a recurrence.  Additionally she should be monitored closely (quarterly CEA tests and semi-annual CT Scans) to catch any recurrence quickly. 

Jack 

That's actually normal.  My husband was the same way when he was first diagnosed Stage IV terminal...  Originally, he was thinking of his life span in terms of weeks and maybe months at most.  Currently, he's NED -- and has outlived the original prognosis of 3-6 months.  At about month 2 after his operation (when he discovered that chemotherapy was doable) he started planning his life 10-20-30-40 years ahead.  Gosh, at this rate he'll be 100!   Maybe he won't make it -- but his mindset (which as you must agree is extremely important) is that he will beat the odds and make it to a ripe old age and die in his sleep a very old man, age 100. 

Maybe when you talk to your Mom, help her focus on 10 years down the road.  Maybe talk about redecorating her house or apartment once she gets out of hospital?  Maybe make tangible plans about that little trip she's always wanted to go on?  Bring in brochures for things she's always wanted to do.  Indeed, as you said, she seems at times to focus on 10 years ahead at least 50% of the time, so maybe just help her focus on 10 years from now at all times in your actions and conversations with her.  When she starts drifting into "woe is me, I've only got a few weeks, months, years at tops" -- which is normal by the way -- gently change the conversation and help her focus on planning further down the road AFTER CHEMOTHERAPY STARTS.  After chemo starts, I'm sure she'll discover for herself that it can be tolerable (with help).  In short, as you help her through her current journey, please ask for help and advice on this message board.  I'm sure you'll get it and you'll get realistic advice too. .

Paula Jean