My mom is 73 with colon cancer

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My mom is 73 with colon cancer

by malady095 on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:00 AM

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My mom has been fighting colon cancer for 5 years. It has now spread to her kidneys.  She is tired of being sick all the time and i think she is getting to the point of being to tired to fight it anymore.  My heart is breaking because she might be giving up and im not ready for her to give up- yet. I still need her so.

My sisters are telling me that she has the right to quit her chemo if she chooses and im at odds with them now because i dont agree.

Is anyone else going through anything like this?

RE: My mom is 73 with colon cancer

by Paula777 on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:00 AM

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Hi there,

First, it sounds as if your mother has had a brave, long, arduous fight on her hands.  But the fact remains is that fights must end sometime.  I have been in your shoes on several occasions.  First, it was my Dad, who at age 72 didn't want to live, so he passed from a non-cancer related disease.  Next, it was my first husband, who chose NOT to fight his cancer.  He passed from prostate cancer though he also had ALS -- more commonly known as Lou Gehrig's Disease -- so it was actually nip-and-tuck which malady would taken him first.  Now I'm caring for my second husband who has colon cancer.  I hope he will fight -- and he seems to be fighting this disease very well and giving it all he's got.  He wants to live.  But if the day ever should come that he's had enough and doesn't want to push on, I must respect his wishes.  Indeed, all life is terminal and we all most go eventually.  Your mother sounds as if she's been a true fighter.  But sadly, this sounds like she's just had enough and now it's time for you to tell her that you love her, hug her lots, and respect her wishes.  Indeed, if I ever have cancer again (I'm a kidney cancer survivor) and I feel that I've had enough -- that is, I TRUELY FEEL THAT I'VE HAD ENOUGH -- I trust my children will hug me, tell me that they love me, and then let me go.  If they don't do that, it will just make the going all the much harder... and we all must go someday.    

Paula Jean     

RE: My mom is 73 with colon cancer

by TheBigBTwin on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:00 AM

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Yeah tough spot. My dad is 85 has been fighting with Chemo for 2 yrs 8 months with Colon cancer met to liver.  We too need him. But I try to remember that He is the patient, he has the cancer, so it if his life and his death. That is what I try to keep in mind. Good luck. Do you have a live support group near? That helps me. Also the book "Final Journeys" and "Final Gifts" I find helpful.

RE: My mom is 73 with colon cancer

by malady095 on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:00 AM

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On 8/16/2009 TheBigBTwin wrote:

Yeah tough spot. My dad is 85 has been fighting with Chemo for 2 yrs 8 months with Colon cancer met to liver.  We too need him. But I try to remember that He is the patient, he has the cancer, so it if his life and his death. That is what I try to keep in mind. Good luck. Do you have a live support group near? That helps me. Also the book "Final Journeys" and "Final Gifts" I find helpful.

Im sure that we must have some type of support group at our hospital where mom gets her chemo, I never really thought about joining one. I take her for chemo tomorrow so I will be sure to check into that. We have a large family and try to support one another but we dont really agree on anything. Ive tried to find some books to help me through this but have never seen the ones you mentioned.  I will have to look for those. Do book stores carry them?  Thank you for responding. It has helped me so much to hear from people like you.

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