Last few days

My Grandmother was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, She is in the last stages, its hard because she is in England and I am in the U.S.

We want to spend my Grandmothers last few days but dont' know when to go, friends that have seen her don't think she will make it through the weekend. What do you look for when it close to the end and know when to go anyone know what to look for, we are thinking about leaving this week but just don't know. We took my daughter to see her as one of her wishes at the beginning of august and was planning on having to return so soon and money is tight but I really want to be there. Any help on the last days would be greatly appreciated.

 

I'm so sorry about your Grandmother.

My dad passed away a 2 years ago. His last week, he slept most of the time. The last 2 days he was not awake at all, although at the very end I think he knew we were there. I was fortunate that he lived in the same town I did, and I could be there every day. 

I guess what I'm saying is, since you don't have that opportunity, I would not try to wait until the very "last days" if you want to still be there when she is awake and you can talk to her.

The Hospice nurse told us (and this was true for my dad) that about 5-7 days before they pass away, you'll start to notice their extremities will start to turn a bluish gray, and they will eat less and start to sleep more and more. 

Good luck. I hope you get there when you need to. 

 

I too am so very sorry about your grandmother. I totally agree with Amy's post. I lost my dad just 7 months ago and the end came very quickly. He went to the oncologist on a Monday ( he was still getting chemo) and received IV fluids, by Wednesday they admitted him and he passed Saturday morning. He too was not awake the last two days, and we too felt strongly that he knew we were there. Even though we had the gift of being there when he passed, I wished we could have spoken more while he was awake. It comes very suddenly with disease so I also think you need to go now. It is one regret you will not have to worry about.My best to you and your family through this most difficult time.

Hi Loving Grandaughter--

I agree with the two posts before me.  My husband passed away 18 months ago.  He slept the last two days but knew I was there.  He was able to squeeze my hand once.  His beautiful brown eyes turned grayish.  His arms were ice cold but wet with sweat.  His breathing became different for the last hour or so.  He turned his head toward me and took his last 4 breaths.  My angel.

You will not regret it if you're there no matter how long it takes.  God Bless you and your journey with your Grama.  Take care.

Denise

it was so different for my.  my mama was alert on her very last day.  she walked around the house (no hospice) and took care of her own basic needs.   several hours before her unexpected but yet peaceful passing, she began to throw up little amounts of liquid.  she tried to eat some saltine crackers and drink 7-up.  we initially thought she had a flu.   very shortly before she left us, she appeared almost in a dream state.  she spoke little but told us she heard us talking.  then it was over.   my mama had no pain at all.  this is a terrible and strange cancer.   my mama is with me as an angel.  i love her so very much.   please go and be with your grandmother.