I can relate to your godmother's need for solitude. I often feel the same way. It is truly difficult to know how to live your life and be the person others' know you to be while fighting for your life. I've found that battling cancer is more of an emotional battle and journey than it is a physical one. Even though you are alive, you are actually grieving over the loss of yourself--of what you have or what could've been.
In my opinion, the best way to approach your godmother would be to give her her space. Let her know that you respect her desire to be alone and her need for space. However, be sure to let her know that you are still there for her if and when she needs you. Another approach would be to ask her if there is anything she would like to talk about. Some people feel better talking things out; others feel better being alone. A person who is attempting to comprehend the possibility of their own death feels a great deal of pressure. Those who know you expect you to be the same person they've known all the time, and the patient ends up having to be strong enough to bare their own pain and console those that they may leave behind (caregivers). Sometimes, it's just easier to be alone so you don't have to concern yourself with other people's feelings. That's probably what she meant when she said she didn't want to get stressed out. I hope this sheds some light on the matter for you.
On 8/27/2009 1st Daughter wrote:
My mother passed away almost two years ago from liver cancer. My god-mother, who I love like a mother was also battling colon cancer. She is currently receiving chemo. She had an original prognosis of 6 months to 2 years. Talked to her today. She appears to want to shut people out...says she doesn't want to be stressed...Is this the time to just back off...let her have her space? I think the Ted Kennedy thing has got her down.