mom has stage4 colon cancer please help

Hi Softytlc

I hate to say welcome, as anyone on this message board is here for a purpose -- either as a caregiver of someone with colon cancer or as a patient themselves.   But welcome nonetheless. 

First, if you're like me and most other regulars on this board, you're now overwhelmed by the diagnosis.  When I first started posting on this board -- shortly after my husband's Stage IV diagnosis and his prognosis of 3-6 months tops -- everyone said, wait.  Hold on.  Don't believe what the doctors say.  Yes, of course, therapy should start ASAP.  Chemo given before a colon resection is common and in many cases, the better route to go.  

Your doctors may also give you the worst case scenario prognosis, as they undoubtedly gave my husband.  It's been six months since his colon resection, he is tolerating the chemo relatively well, he is back working on light duty and he's gaining a bit of weight (when he's on his week off chemo).  He's doing OK and while he's clearly not out of the woods and this monster called cancer may take his life, he's clearly very much alive.

On this message board, you'll also come to know patients like Barb (a real fighter) who has been surviving with Stage IV colon cancer for 7 years now.  And cptmac who is now 100% cancer free, after undergoing a clinical trial and a major curative operation to remove metastasis to cptmac's liver.  Jack -- a stage IV cancer survivor -- is a very good contributor and has always stepped up to offer realistic common sense been-there-done-that advice when you need it.  As you read back through the postings, you'll see many names come and go.  Some are sadly no longer with us; but the good news is that many simply don't need the support anymore and they rarely if ever visit this board.  In short,  your Mom is an individual. 

Tell her that you love her, hug her (I'm a Mum and I know she'll enjoy that) and then support her with optimistic stories.   The one I have told over and over on this message board -- and I told my husband as he goes through whatever God has planned for him -- is the story of my cousin.  He was told to go home , write his will and get his personal affairs in order because he only had a few months to live.  That was 17 years ago.  He is one Stage IV colon cancer survivor.  There are many others.  And those numbers are growing, as the latest research has shown a huge increase in the numbers of Stage IV colon cancer patients surviving past five years has made a huge jump from only 8 percent to over 30 percent.  And that's not including all the new chemotherapies coming online. 

So, yes this is a very scary time.  But remain optimistic for your mom and remember, everyone on this message board is here to offer advice on how to be a good and knowledgeable advocate for your Mom.  For sure, she will need a good strong, smart shoulder to lean on.  And as you're already seeking answers on this board, I'm sure you'll come up to task very quickly to be the support your Mom clearly needs right now.

Our prayers are with you,

Paula Jean   

Softytic,

There is no way to know how your mother will respond to chemo, but I would urge her to try it.  Chemo generally works fairly quickly and you'll know whether it is helping your mother or not.  If she experiences significant side effects or if the cancer is too advanced, then you can stop the chemo knowing that you tried. 

Jack

On 8/29/2009 Paula777 wrote:

Hi Softytlc

I hate to say welcome, as anyone on this message board is here for a purpose -- either as a caregiver of someone with colon cancer or as a patient themselves.   But welcome nonetheless. 

First, if you're like me and most other regulars on this board, you're now overwhelmed by the diagnosis.  When I first started posting on this board -- shortly after my husband's Stage IV diagnosis and his prognosis of 3-6 months tops -- everyone said, wait.  Hold on.  Don't believe what the doctors say.  Yes, of course, therapy should start ASAP.  Chemo given before a colon resection is common and in many cases, the better route to go.  

Your doctors may also give you the worst case scenario prognosis, as they undoubtedly gave my husband.  It's been six months since his colon resection, he is tolerating the chemo relatively well, he is back working on light duty and he's gaining a bit of weight (when he's on his week off chemo).  He's doing OK and while he's clearly not out of the woods and this monster called cancer may take his life, he's clearly very much alive.

On this message board, you'll also come to know patients like Barb (a real fighter) who has been surviving with Stage IV colon cancer for 7 years now.  And cptmac who is now 100% cancer free, after undergoing a clinical trial and a major curative operation to remove metastasis to cptmac's liver.  Jack -- a stage IV cancer survivor -- is a very good contributor and has always stepped up to offer realistic common sense been-there-done-that advice when you need it.  As you read back through the postings, you'll see many names come and go.  Some are sadly no longer with us; but the good news is that many simply don't need the support anymore and they rarely if ever visit this board.  In short,  your Mom is an individual. 

Tell her that you love her, hug her (I'm a Mum and I know she'll enjoy that) and then support her with optimistic stories.   The one I have told over and over on this message board -- and I told my husband as he goes through whatever God has planned for him -- is the story of my cousin.  He was told to go home , write his will and get his personal affairs in order because he only had a few months to live.  That was 17 years ago.  He is one Stage IV colon cancer survivor.  There are many others.  And those numbers are growing, as the latest research has shown a huge increase in the numbers of Stage IV colon cancer patients surviving past five years has made a huge jump from only 8 percent to over 30 percent.  And that's not including all the new chemotherapies coming online. 

So, yes this is a very scary time.  But remain optimistic for your mom and remember, everyone on this message board is here to offer advice on how to be a good and knowledgeable advocate for your Mom.  For sure, she will need a good strong, smart shoulder to lean on.  And as you're already seeking answers on this board, I'm sure you'll come up to task very quickly to be the support your Mom clearly needs right now.

Our prayers are with you,

Paula Jean   

Paula Jean, Your response to a new daignosed "mom" was very positive and comforting. I am the daughter of a 74 yr old stage 4 colon cancer patient. I thought that you may have some thoughts to share since it seems you have been on the site for some time... My father has had 4 major surgeries - incl 2 resections in last 2 yrs. He has had 6 blockages , 2 of which resulted in these surgeries. In between the surgeries he has been treated w/ chemo which although hard was bearable. I have seen a big change since this last surgery which included the lower section of small intestines. I am very concerned that he is remaining very weak. He has severe diarrhea since MAY  and it is just too much for him. He drinks his ensure and boost and even eats his meals although very hard to accomplish. The doctors tell him that diarrhea is what is expected after this much postresections. If anyone has any advise as to how to help him regain some enery levels ....he is anxious to return to chemo (has not had treatment since early June), and he knows that he needs to continue. The tumor is in the body cavity and surgery is not an option - only chemo...

For 2 yrs he has also beat the odds... attitude plays such a big role in the survival of stage 4 colon patients... I am concerned now that the months of "losing weight, and lack of good absorption of nutrients, is now affecting his positive attitude. Any help would be so appreciated. Thanks, Dlana

My dad has stage 4 colon cancer...it started off as a tumor in the colon. Then it has spread to his lungs and liver. He was taking Chemo. At one point after one yr the doctor said it was completely gone. Then four months later its in his lungs and liver again.  Within the last month I have changed his diet....he was eating sugar non-stop. I also started him on apricot seeds. He is looking better. His white blood cell count is going up. I don't know what would work for your mom....but I am not putting all that might work in one basket...After a month of nonstop research....I think myself that there is something to Alterative Medicine.

 http://www.apricotsfromgod.info/mystory.html  here is some information. You got to give fresh pineapple and zinc with it.  The seeds must be bitter, not sweet.

Also I am going to start him on PawPaw.  It can be taken with Chemo.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8CKs5S74v8

http://www.diseaseproof.com/archives/cancer-ineffective-anti " target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://www.diseaseproof.com/archives/cancer-ineffective-anti

http://www.earthclinic.com/CURES/cancer.html

 This has a post with a women with stage 4 colon cancer and what she used. Her cancer is going down.

http://www.diseaseproof.com/archives/cancer-ineffective-anti " target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://www.diseaseproof.com/archives/cancer-ineffective-anti

On 8/29/2009 softytlc wrote:

my mom was diagnosis with stage 4 colon cancer with metson both sides of liver and alot of lymph nodes the dr says it is very advanced and fast growing he wants to start chemo asap isthis going to help she has lost 30lbs since may and is very weak please hwlp me 

I can understand what you are feeling.  It is not an easy decision to make.  My Mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 nearly two years ago.  She has had two surgeries and two bouts with chemo.  She is 85.  I wish I could say that the treatment helped.  It did give us two more years with her.  She is under Hospice care now at home.  May God bless you with His guidance and strength during this time.

Sincerely,

Elaine65

Hi Softytic,

I can sense the desperation in your message because I felt the same way after learning my husband has stage 4 cancer.  I have already learned a few things I want to share with you.  Listen to people like Paula Jean - her message is so positive and helpful.  You need to be around people like that and read about the survival stories.  Let your friends and family help you through this.  I have found that so many people that say they want to help really do want to help.  Even if it's just to cry on their shoulder or have them pick something up at the store.  Don't try to face it alone.  We are all here for each other.  The chemo may be hard on your mom, everyone is different.  Just keep trying different things for her side affects until you find something that works.  Above all don't give up! 

Paula Jean,

Thank you for such a positive message.  This is such a scary time and your message really helped me today.  God bless.

Cathy

I really loved your response it was thoughtful, caring, and you gave wonderful helpful information for her and her mother.  Best to you ,,,