death of my grandmother {mother}

My grandmother has been dead for 8 years now and i still have the hardest time getting over it. She has had me since i was 2 day old all the way up until i was 13 when she died the same day as my birthday party later that night i was crushed i was lost the only mother that i have ever had. My parents are still living but my mother never came around and my dad was in the streets but i knew him he came to see me but my grandmother took care of me involving school food clothes anything i needed she was there. I have been to counceling and everything to try to get over it but i cant seem to i dont know if it is because she was the only one there for me and when she left i had nothing i just need some advice on how to try not to think about it so much or will i may never get over it. Because now im 21 in the us army about to get ready to deploy and i dont like it but im trying to be that independent woman that she always wanted me to be.

I was reading your story and it reminded me of my grandfather. He raised me until I was 8. My mom was there but not emotionally if you know what I mean. I felt like somehow it was my fault he died because he didn't come back from the hospital. Maybe I could have helped do even more for him so I was grieving terribly. I wouldn't eat and I had nightmares. Everybody just said to quit crying so much or whats wrong , go out and play. No one pays attention to an 8 year old at a funeral. I got really sick.No one has ever believed me, but it is true, my Grandfather came to me, maybe I was dreaming , I don't know but he told me " it's going to be alright Little Rosie because that's what he called me". he looked so well and strong and he wasn't bent or crippled any more. I never grieved for him again. from then on I remembered all the good times we had, the things he taught me, and I've taught those things to my children. He didn't leave me and I didn't lose anything. Neither have you honey, she'll always be right there. Don't think of it as a loss but how much you gained when God loaned you an angel for awhile. God bless you.