End of life seems near....Sort of.

Gosh, Dad had such a dramatic change from only three days ago. He now spends ALOT of time talking to his old buddies (who are not in the room) but seems to be very clear about these discussions. He is also fidgeting with the oxygen tube all the time, balling up his sheets, writing in the air, etc.

He does not seem unhappy, does not have much pain and really barely even coughs. For someone who is one year from diagnosis of stage 4 NSC lung cancer it is amazing. His pulse/Ox levels are almost always still in the 90's and his blood pressure is pretty normal.

How could someone with such advanced Lung cancer have such seemingly healthy readings? But...he is not awake much and has difficulty even sitting up in the bed. I am thankful for his apparent comfort but I guess still confused because of the mixed signals...Does this sound familiar to anyone? I am guessing that the end is approaching, but his case has presented so atypically, one could not be sure.

On 9/2/2009 JerzyNola wrote:

Gosh, Dad had such a dramatic change from only three days ago. He now spends ALOT of time talking to his old buddies (who are not in the room) but seems to be very clear about these discussions. He is also fidgeting with the oxygen tube all the time, balling up his sheets, writing in the air, etc.

He does not seem unhappy, does not have much pain and really barely even coughs. For someone who is one year from diagnosis of stage 4 NSC lung cancer it is amazing. His pulse/Ox levels are almost always still in the 90's and his blood pressure is pretty normal.

How could someone with such advanced Lung cancer have such seemingly healthy readings? But...he is not awake much and has difficulty even sitting up in the bed. I am thankful for his apparent comfort but I guess still confused because of the mixed signals...Does this sound familiar to anyone? I am guessing that the end is approaching, but his case has presented so atypically, one could not be sure.

 

 

Hello:

 My mom was the same thing, but she dragged on for another 3 more weeks.  She once was able to say this " go home " word.  I explained to her I could not do that as she was on Ventillator and if I removed she would die instantly.  She seemed upset.  Her BP was suddenly up to the roof.  She was anxious. The nurse gave her an anxiety IV to calm Mom down.  I am so sorry to Mama...  I stayed 48 hrs to watch her. She was refused to be treated and transferred back to the old, low tech hospital. Many times she tried to write but it was just doodling.  She could not make anything out of it.  She knew... She knew... she wanted to say good bye to us.  She wanted to tell us she was in pain and she wanted to pull out the oxygen ventillator out...   She was hurt. 

I remembered 3 days before her passing, when we turned to clean Mom, her eyes were somewhere on the ceiling, her BP was normal without elevating (stranger than normal cleaning time).  She slept a lot of time, her eyes area was darken and darker than usual...  At no where, her BP and heart rate dropped within 4 hrs....  I did not get a chance to say good bye to her when she was fully awake and able to communicate with me...  I am regretting every day since she passed - 36 days already...  Still hurt like hell...   Still cry on seeing her pixes fixate on my car odometer...  Still mad at the Man above...  It is unjustice for us to watch her go.  I have no parents left.  I guess God wanted to take both of them away from me and family...   I come to hate myself for not noticing any of those...

Talk to your dad.  Remind the old times, the good memories you had spent with him.  He still can hear....  Start saying good byes before too late.

Best wishes,

V

Hello "V" I am also V as in Vanessa in my case. I am sorry that you were not able to have a proper goodbye, but don't beat yourself up too much, I am sure she knows that you loved her.

 Dad is in a "looney tune" worls - amazing, one sentence could be clear and somewhat relevant, the next he is asking me how long is this boat we are on? I know in my logical mind that this is what he truly thinks, but it is so hard to wrap my mind around this very odd swings all day long.  It is actiually very heart-breaking to see him in this state but I do try to keep it real and talk about good times eventhought he will change the subject to needing to get dressed to go across the street or something.

I will say that you made me think...perhaps even though his replies to me are nonsensical,maybe inside his mind he is hearing me in a logical way.

Hmmmm I will try to remeber this to help get me through...it has only been 5 days since the dramatic change and I hate to see him in this crazy place! He would be so made if he was looking from the outside in on this one!

I suggest you read the book final gift.  It is written by hospice nurses.  Your father is communicating death.  After you read a couple of the stories in that book you will understand your father and what he is trying to say. 

My husband is also in a similiar situation.  Unfortunately one of the differences is that he is in pain.  He doesn't eat much some days not at all.  But in the last week he has gotten worse.  The doctors wanted to put him in the hospital but he refused.  They have said they don't think he will make it more then a couple of weeks but they aren't sure they are only going by similiar situations.  The doctors want to start hospice but he again is not in favor because he said he is not ready to be in the dirt. 

I pray that God will give him the peace he needs.  I told him its all about making him pain free and comfortable as possible.

kzfamily

I wanted to let you know that hospice is not only for the final days, we joined early so that Dad would be more comfortable with his care givers. They have been great and I am glad that I made the switch from home health if only for this reason. It is misunderstood that hospice is only there in the very end. I believe as long as the patients condition is that of " will not recover" you can be under their care for as much as a year +.

I think it is just the word "hospice" that freaks people out. Check into this and you willsee the resources available.